Every now and then, the Universe hands me a surprise.
Last night, someone who shall remain nameless but is you said, “I’ll grant you an exception to writing a blog if you come watch a fun movie with us!”
Done and done.
Who am I to sneer at a gift from you and the Universe?
Thanks for a fun evening.
Last night was a wonderful night. Not only did we go see Holiday in Lights in Sharon Woods (right before it closed for the season), we finally got to see the Minion Movie.
(Yes, you’d seen it before, but I hadn’t and isn’t that what this is all about?)
My two Most Wonderful Children arranged for us to watch the Minion Movie as a (very) early birthday present for me.
I have great kids.
And I am so thrilled with having seen the movie that I am providing you Fantastic Facts About Minions:
Thank you again for a fabulous evening.
Just in case you hadn’t been paying attention, it is a musical time of year. More than any other time of year, the whole world (and by “the whole world” I mean everywhere I go) is playing holiday music. As long as they avoid the singing chipmunks (yes, I know there’s a new movie, and no, I don’t plan to go see it) and the barking dogs, I’m pretty happy with holiday music.
Speaking of musicians (I wasn’t really, but it would be polite of you not to bother pointing that out), Once Upon A Time, there was a musician named Orpheus. He was a Greek and famous (you can tell he was Greek because of the “pheus” and you can tell he was famous because I’m talking about him lo these many years later).
Orpheus was the greatest of all mortal musicians (remember, dearest, that one doesn’t want to boast about being better at anything than the gods). Not only did people stop whatever they were doing to listen to him, animals did as well. Even the rivers stopped running and the rocks stopped rocking to sit still and listen when Orpheus sang.
Orpheus sailed on the Argo, and performed all sorts of musical magic on that voyage, but that’s not today’s story.
Eventually, Orpheus fell in love with Eurydice (she was a wood nymph but Orpheus was in love and didn’t care about her habit of being part tree), and Orpheus and Eurydice decided to get married.
On their wedding day (either right before or right after depending on which version you read), Eurydice was bitten by a viper (ouch) and died. But Orpheus was in love and didn’t care about her habit of being dead, so he decided to go to the underworld and get back his bride.
Taking his lyre (he was a most extraordinary musician you will remember), Orpheus set out for the underworld.
What I don’t understand is how all these heroes managed to find the underworld. It’s not like they had GPS back then. And there weren’t a lot of signs saying “This Way to the Underworld” like there would have been if the entrance to Hades was in Las Vegas.
Back to our story. While he was wandering around, Orpheus the Brokenhearted was playing sad, sad music. So sad that the gods got together and said “This is worse than barking dogs Christmas carols! Someone show him the entrance to Hades!”
Down to the underworld went Orpheus. At every obstacle, he played his lyre and sang beautifully and charmed the pants off his way through. Eventually, he got to Hades and his wife Persephone (it was that time of year and she was in residence). Orpheus played for them and they agreed that he could take Eurydice back to the Land of the Living.
But (you knew there had to be a “but” right? This is Greek mythology and happily ever afters aren’t in huge supply). But there was a condition. Eurydice would follow Orpheus on the long and treacherous hike back up, BUT he must not look back at her along the way. Not even once. Not even a tiny peek. No matter how much he wanted to. No peeking at all.
This seemed like a no brainer to Orpheus mostly because he didn’t have a choice. Off he set, playing his lyre to keep the scary things away and to let Eurydice know where to follow.
Have you ever been told not to do something? Have you ever been told not to do something that is the One Thing In the World, Nay, the Universe that you want to do more than anything else? It’s hard not to do. It gets harder the longer you have to refrain from doing it. It gets even harder if you don’t really trust the people who told you not to do the Thing. Orpheus was having a hard time.
He strained to hear Eurydice behind him. He heard nothing (mostly because shades don’t make any sound when they walk) and partly because he had to keep playing. Orpheus kept walking.
He really, really, really wanted to look back and make sure Eurydice was there. But he didn’t dare because he knew he would lose her forever if he so much as peeked. Orpheus was having a Really Tough Day.
Finally, finally Orpheus reached the entrance (or in this case the exit) to the underworld and stepped out into the glorious sunshine. (Trust me. If you’ve been to the underworld, even a gloomy day will seem like glorious sunshine.)
As soon as he stepped out, Orpheus spun around to see Eurydice. BUT (you knew there was a “but” right?) she was still on the path in the cave. He had turned too soon, and no sooner had he seen her when—whoosh—away she faded, murmuring “farewell.”
Orpheus (of course) tried to rush after her and (of course) was not allowed to (one trip to the underworld per live musician).
Life pretty much went downhill for Orpheus from there. He wandered around the world (and by “the world” I mean ancient Greece) avoiding people and playing for the animals, trees, and rocks. This was wonderful for the animals, trees, and rocks, but rocks are rarely asked their opinion and almost never listen to when they give it. Which makes them perfectly qualified to be music critics.
Eventually, the Maenads ripped him limb from limb. His head went on to be an oracle and the Muses buried his body at the base of Olympus where—to this day—the nightingales sing more sweetly than anywhere else.
If you happen to be traveling by the base of Mount Olympus, be sure to stop and listen to the nightingales.
In the meantime, hope you hear good music today.
Seven is a very interesting number.
It’s prime (you knew that). It’s also a happy prime and a lucky prime (I looked up definitions for both—they are complicated and interesting mostly to math nerds so I am not going to explain them to you here).
Note: “Math nerds” is a descriptor. Like tall. And other things I’m not.
There are seven deadly sins (pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth), seven days of the week, seven colors in the rainbow, and seven seas (Arctic Ocean, North Atlantic Ocean, South Atlantic Ocean, Indian Ocean, North Pacific Ocean, South Pacific Ocean, and the Antarctic Ocean. And sloth).
Seven is the neutral value on the pH scale, the sum of any two opposite sides of a standard die is 7, and there are seven SI base units (meter, kilogram, second, ampere, kelvin, mole, and candela. And sloth.).
There are seven virtues (chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, kindness, patience, and humility) and seven acts of mercy. There are seven great saints (in Hinduism) and 7 chakras. In Islam, there are 7 layers of the earth and seven skies. There are seven sisters in the Pleidades and Seven Cities of Gold.
There are seven continents, seven wonders of the world (ancient, modern, and sloth), and seven hills in Rome, Istanbul, and Cincinnati.
There are seven pure notes on the diatonic scale, seven liberal arts (grammar, logic, rhetoric, arithmetic, geometry, music theory, and astronomy. And sloth), seven honest men, and seven sages (in Greece, India, and in the Bamboo Grove in China). There are 7 ages of man (in Will’s As You Like It), and seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine in Pharaoh’s dream. There are 7 books in the Harry Potter series (and the number 7 is meaningful in them).
There is 7-Eleven (and 711), 7 Up, and Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (sloth isn’t one of the habits).
Bond is 007 (which is the same as 7 but sounds much cooler). There are Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, The Magnificent Seven, and Seven Dwarves. There were Seven Years in Tibet, and Seven Days in May. George Carlin identified 7 words you can never say on TV.
There is the seventh son of the seventh son, the seven year itch, and the seventh inning stretch. In the NHL, MLB, and NBA, the maximum number of games in a playoff series is 7.
And even if I said it seven times seven, I wouldn’t begin to express how proud we are of you.
Happy 7.
It’s that time of year.
The time of year when—if you don’t like scary movies—you have to be very careful about randomly searching for something to watch on TV.
It’s the Halloween-y time of year when the people in charge of deciding what to put on the airwaves cablewaves love their jobs because it’s easy. Late October? Roll out the Halloween movies! Let there be scary!
Zombies? Bring ‘em on. Crazy people killing crazy people? Add them to the schedule. Ability to market “shock and terrify”? Bring on the advertising!
And those of us who are not fans of terror? Beware the ads, beware the commercials, beware the sneak previews, and mostly beware of channel surfing.
On the other hand, if you love scary movies, you shouldn’t have any trouble finding something to watch.
I was going to make you a list of the best scary movies, but then I saw some of the titles and the movie posters and I decided if I ever want to sleep again maybe making a scary movie list wasn’t such a good idea.
I’ll stick with happy little ghosts and cheerful pumpkins and candy.
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