Dear Kid,

Next Sunday is Mother’s Day. This letter is to my mommy, but I thought I’d share it with you so you’d know it is not possible to be too old for a Mom. By the way, don’t forget to call your grandmothers. And perhaps even your mother. And if you still need ideas…

Dear Kid Mom,

There was a time when I lived under your roof. Often I lived behind a slammed door under your roof. There were times when it seemed much, much too close. And there were times when ‘just down the hall’ seemed very far away.

Then I went to college. Back then, we didn’t have cell phones or Skype (how did we manage?) but no matter what, you and Daddy were always just a call away. A long distance call that involved dialing lots of extra digits and cost a small fortune, but you never mentioned the phone bill. And you were ready and willing to talk about good stuff, the not such good stuff, or pretty much nothing at all.

Then I went on to grad school and you were still there. Got a job and my own place to live—even paid my own bills—and you were still there. Got married, moved half way across the country, had short people who called me “mom” running around my house—and you were still there. Now those short people are not so short anymore and I can no longer look in the mirror and pretend I’m in my twenties.

You and Daddy are gallivanting around the globe (hope you are having a wonderful time wherever you are at the moment), but it is still important to know that you are there—just a phone call away. Sometimes an international call that involves dialing lots of extra digits and costs a small fortune, but now I can pay for the cost of the call. And it is wonderful talking to you about the good stuff, the not so good stuff, and pretty much nothing at all.

Have a wonderful Mother’s Day, Mom,

Love, Your Grandchildren’s Mom and Your Kid

My idea of a perfect breakfast. With coffee, please.

Dear Kid,

After extensive research, I am happy to report

• Most of us have, at one point or another, had a mother. (See below if you don’t get the reference.)
• Mother’s Day is May 12, 2013.

Just in case you were wondering, Mother’s Day is an American invention (1908). While Hallmark didn’t actually invent Mother’s Day, it certainly has helped commercialize it, which took approximately 27 minutes.

I’m wondering if you have a favorite Mother’s Day ritual or memory…tell me in the comments below. I’d love to hear about it.

In honor of moms everywhere, today, we have our first annual Mother’s Day Quiz. Extra Credit awarded for creativity.

True or False: Mothers want breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day.
False. There may be some moms who want breakfast in bed, but most of us are not dying for breakfast not of our choosing that we will have to eat smilingly and clean up later. We do however value the gesture quite highly. Being allowed to sleep longer–excellent gift.

True or False: Grunting at your Mother is sufficient conversation.
False. We actually like hearing about your life. Texting is a poor substitute for conversation but we’ll take what we can get.

True or False: Macaroni projects are a swell Mother’s Day gift.
True, but they were much better when you were closer in size to the macaroni.

True or False: Planning a Mother’s Day surprise is a good reason to skip school.
Sorry, laughing too hard to answer this one.

True or False: Helping with chores in a cheerful and engaging way is a swell Mother’s Day gift.
Absolutely. Positively. You betcha.

True or False: Mother’s Day is celebrated globally.
False. Did I not mention we Americans invented it? There are lots of variations on Mother’s Day.

True or False: There is still time to plan for Mother’s Day.
True. True. True. Get cracking, kid!

Love, Mom

~~~~

Grosvenor. (wildly) But you would not do it — I am sure you would not. (Throwing himself at Bunthorne’s knees, and clinging to him.) Oh, reflect, reflect! You had a mother once.

Bunthorne. Never!

Grosvenor. Then you had an aunt! (Bunthorne affected.) Ah! I see you had! By the memory of that aunt, I implore you to pause…

—Patience, Gilbert & Sullivan