Posts Tagged "march madness"

How College Athletes Remain Academically Eligible

Dear Kid,

I’ve been thinking about college sports.

I can only assume these athletes stay on top of classwork with the help of some magic, a bit of time travel, and exceptional tutors. If it’s anything else, I’m not sure I want to know… DearKidLoveMom.comThis should not particularly surprise you, since we are in the middle of March Madness (and by “middle” I mean the early days) which means everyone and their brother is talking about brackets and basketball and how to skip out of work in order to watch Important Sporting Events.

It will (probably) not surprise you that I’m not trying to skip out of work since I can barely figure out how to follow basketball. (It helps when Dad yells, “Look right there! Right There! He grabbed his arm! He definitely grabbed his arm!! That’s a foul! You have to call that!” and then they show the alleged foul in ultra slow motion. Fourteen times.)

I have been thinking about college sports in terms of (wait for it) academics.

Yes, I said it. Sports and academics. In the same sentence. I’ll write quickly so I can finish this before the fan police arrest me.

I sort of understand that some sports can be played around an academic schedule. Like crew (I still haven’t figured out if one actually “plays” crew, but go with it for a moment). When you were rowing, you went to class (presumably), did homework (presumably), worked out with the team (for sure), and studied (presumably). (NOTE: I assume these things because I was not there to see you do them and you didn’t really talk about your academics that year. Also, you didn’t get kicked out which was a good hint that you were busy learning something.)

I assume that even some sports with more, um, political and alumni pressure can be played while continuing with one’s academic pursuits.

What I’m confused about (at this particular moment) is how one breathes the rarified air of playing basketball during March Madness and manages to attend class, do homework, and study subjects other than the next team on the schedule. The travel alone makes it seem daunting if not impossible.

So how is it that these athletes stay academically eligible? I can only assume some magic, a bit of time travel, and some exceptional tutors. If it’s anything else, I’m not sure I want to know…

Love, Mom

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The As and Bs of March Madness

Dear Kid,

Happy Day After Oops! I Forgot It Was Saint Patrick’s Day and I Have To Go Change My Shirt Madness Day.

What does a chicken have to do with March Madness? DearKidLoveMom.comThere were lots of reasons to have fun yesterday: Basketball, Shamrocks, Basketball, Leprechauns, Basketball, Pots o’ Gold, and Basketball, and reruns of Project Runway All-stars.

Also, it was the start of March Madness. (Just in case you weren’t sure.) You can tell it’s March Madness because I just threw a pair of jeans across the room and they landed (more or less) in the chair I was aiming for. (You’re impressed, right?)

We’ve talked before about basketball, and more basketball, and more basketball, because March Madness shows up each year. Here’s the important part: basketball players are tall. Really tall.

J2 and I were at the gym the evening, walking on the track and solving all the world’s problems when we noticed a basketball-player-type person also walking on the track. We could tell he wasn’t a professional player because A) he was at our gym and B) we could see his head without binoculars. We could tell he was a basketball-player-type because A) he was bouncing along in the way only a “type” can and B) tall.

As we passed him (“type” not an actual player), I said, “I feel like an ant.” J2 said, “I know! I think I could walk between his legs and not hit anything.” This was comment on his height, not a slur on his manliness. At least that was my assumption.

The thing is that on TV the actual b-ball players playing actual b-ball look like they are normal sized. They’re not. They are huge. They just look normal because A) all the players are about the same size so it’s hard to tell how much bigger they are than normal humans and B) your TV isn’t life size. Well, your TV is the size of your TV, but the images (and by “images” I mean people) aren’t the size they are IRL.

Love, Mom

P.S. Tomorrow is National Poultry Day (don’t chicken out).

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March Madness | Stuff You Don’t Know and Cinderella Stories

Dear Kid,

March Madness DearKidLoveMom.comWell, it’s March Madness.

SUNY Albany lost to Florida to the accompaniment of much yelling at the TV.This surprised pretty much no one as Albany was ranked dead last and Florida was ranked considerably higher (#1 is considerably higher than #last).

Almost all the Ohio teams lost as well. This surprised many people and broke many brackets. (It is considered unlucky to have your bracket broken as it means you will not win $1 billion. But don’t feel bad–the odds of creating a perfect bracket are one in nine quintillion* which are pretty big odds. Then throw in that these are college players and you’re better off betting on finding two identical snowflakes.)

Meanwhile, people who did not bet on March Madness will make all sorts of overdone bracket jokes on Facebook { }.

March Madness continues until April 5. Which means our television will take a lot more abuse over the next few weeks. (I wonder if I need to report TV abuse…)

The first NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament was in 1939 and had only eight teams. Now there are some number just short of a quintillion.

Donkeys on the Court-- March Madness-- DearKidLoveMom.comSportswriters are having fun writing about a potential Cinderella Story, wherein a low ranked team might win. It is lovely that they are (correctly) assuming that predicting the winner is a fairy tale, but ever so wrong in the particulars. Basketball players almost always keep both shoes on their feet, the shoes have no heel to speak of, and while the shorts they wear these days are voluminous they will never be confused with a ballgown. Sportswriters clearly are not focused on fashion.

That pretty much exhausts my knowledge about basketball in general and March Madness in particular. Maybe I can find a guest blogger to write something useful as we get farther into the tournament. Or not.

Tanner is graduating today. Be sure to send Auntie M a congratulatory text.

Love, Mom

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