Dear Kid,

I’ve been thinking about New Year’s Resolutions. Studies show that the vast majority of people who make NYRs break them before they recover from their New Year’s Eve induced hangover.

Nonetheless,

For 2016, I resolve

To drink more water. How I will measure this is completely unclear since I have no idea how much water I drank in 2015. But I’m committed to trying up my dihydrogen monoxide intake (yeah, I just really wanted to say dihydrogen monoxide).

To spend more time with friends. Not sure how I’ll do that since it is just plain HARD to make 24 hours a day stretch to 27 or so. But I’m committed to trying.

To brush the puppy more often. I know how to do that one (take brush in one hand and puppy in the other…), but I’m not sure exactly what it will accomplish since shedding is his primary occupation.

To drink less coffee. (Not really. But it looks impressive on the list so I’ll leave it there a little longer.)

To get more sleep. See above comment about figuring out how to get more hours into the day. But maybe I can give up a few hours of TV in order to get some additional shut eye.

To start AND FINISH a crafts project. Starting is no problem. Finishing could be a bit of a sticky wicket.

To keep the kitchen counters free of clutter. Yep. Right after I give up coffee and bad TV.

Perhaps I’d better rethink this list.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

It’s that time of year again.

The time of year when you go to work when it’s dark and come home when it’s dark. The time of year when bears and people would really rather think about hibernation.

The time of year when people worry about whether coffee tastes good out of red cups rather than worrying about the important things like war, famine, and whether it’s legal to play fantasy football.

It’s a list-making time of year. (OK, for me, it is always a list-making time of year, but right now it seems everyone is making lists. Some are even checking them twice.)

We’re making lists about who will do what chore when they come home from college. We’re making lists about menus and ingredients and who will eat what and do not get Aunt Martha started about her cataracts.

We’re making lists about emails to send and cards to write and decorations to purchase. We’re making lists about what we need to take when we travel and what time we absolutely, positively MUST leave the house in order to avoid traffic and make our connection. We’re making lists about getting the cleaning done and the baking done and do not talk about politics with Aunt Martha no matter what.

We’re making lists of what to be thankful for and what chapters to study and what homework is due. We’re making lists of what can be accomplished before the end of the year and what will have to wait until 2016. We’re making lists of home repairs and hoping the weather will read the list and not make things difficult.

We’re making lists of what’s on sale when and whether we can live without a muffin pan that lets you bake 48 mini muffins at once. We’re making lists of which doctor appointments have been scheduled and whether we can still get in for a teeth cleaning during winter break.

We make our lists, knowing that some of the things will get done and some will almost get done and some will not get done despite our best efforts. But we do what we can and decide to celebrate being with the people we love rather than fretting about whether we have enough decorations. (We still hope no one brings up the presidential debates with Aunt Martha.)

And for the record, coffee tastes the same no matter what color cup you drink from. Ditto for the design on the cup. To all those who are fretting about it, get over yourselves.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

As you may remember, I had a List yesterday. A Getting Things Done That Need To Be Done List.

As I was working my way through the list (with an occasional pause to see if I could get past Level 111 in Words on Tour), I thought about how not everyone works with lists. Being a list-oriented person, I don’t really understand that, but I can at least accept it as an alternate lifestyle choice.

Here are my rules for working with a list (especially if you don’t want to.

1. Make a list. There are two schools of thought when it comes to list making (I’ve attended both schools). The first is to put as much detail as possible on the list so you get the joy (and by “joy” I mean endorphins) when you cross things off. For example: Instead of “make the bed,” you write “Go upstairs, stare at bed, pull up sheets, pull up comforter, arrange pillows” etc. That way even if you don’t get around to finishing you can at least cross off something that shows you made an attempt. Like going upstairs. The second school of thought is to put as little as possible on the list so it (the list) doesn’t glare at you all day. For example: Instead of “make the bed,” you write “Do house stuff.” That way, when you carry your breakfast dishes to the general vicinity of the sink, you can cross off the chore as done.
2. Read the list. After years of careful study I can confidently report that having a list is insufficient. If you write and then ignore the list, things rarely get accomplished. (Unless you have better elves than I do.)
3. Work on the list. Pick something, anything, and get it done. The first rule of list-making (yes, we talk about list-making) is that the list doesn’t always have to be completed in order. Sometimes it’s helpful (you generally have to get out of bed before you can make the bed) but most of the time flexibility is fine. You just have to get started.
4. Cross things off the list. It’s very important that once you accomplish something on the list you cross it off. Partly because you get all those great endorphins and partly so that when someone else looks at your list they don’t nag you to get something done.
5. It’s your list. You get to make up the rules. One of my rules is that sometimes it’s OK to cross things off even if they aren’t finished. I have two options. One is the “It’s Close Enough” option: I didn’t make the bed, but at least I picked the blanket up off the floor. Close enough for me. The other is the “Never Gonna Happen so Why Pretend” option: Seriously, I never make the bed unless grandma and grandpa are coming to visit and even then it’s iffy, so why did I even put it on the list?

Happy list-making!

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

For some, today is a day of rest. For me, today is a day of Doing.

Puppy: I shall take care of the Very Important Napping

It will not surprise you to learn I have a List and that it is not a short List. Nor will it surprise you to learn that I am still adding to the List.

Puppy: I have a list. It says “Nap, Eat, Play”

Dad and Pi are off at soccer tryouts and I am determined to Get Things Accomplished.

Puppy: You have too much energy

One of the things I hope to get done today is fix DearKidLoveMom. When we moved to our new hosting service, about two weeks’ worth of blogs fled into cyberspace. I hope to get them reposted today. This probably means they’ll show up in your email which means that you can either efficiently clean out your inbox or re-read them because you weren’t very awake the first time they came through.

Puppy: Ridiculous

In case you were wondering what else happened on June 13, I am delighted to tell you that June 13, 1966 was when the Miranda Rights were established. These days everyone knows about Miranda because we all watch enough episodes of Law & Order to have them memorized. But back then it was new and novel.

Also on this day in 323, Alexander the Great died. He was a very interesting…

Puppy: No one cares

Me: You have the right to remain silent too

Have a great day, kiddo.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Today

• Wake up
• Go back to sleep
• Wake up again
• Stumble downstairs
• Snuggle Puppy
• Consider having breakfast
• Try to use ESP to get someone to bring me breakfast
• Get breakfast myself
• Take cold medicine
• Stare at the TV while the meds kick in
• Stare at the TV some more
• Wonder what I’ve been watching on TV
• Wonder how people actually have energy today
• Consider having lunch – reject the idea as waaay too much work
• Decide not to leave the house today
• Promise to help Pi make latkes for school
• Wonder how to make latkes while sitting on the couch
• Watch Bengals football game—be glad I’m watching on TV and not in person
• Write to-do list
  • 1. Help Pi make latkes to take to school
  • 2. Pay Kid’s phone bill
  • 3. Continue making some progress cleaning things up
• Think about doing things on the to-do list
• Wish I could clone myself and have someone else work on that huge to-do list
• Try to use ESP to switch places with Booker. Think about getting off the couch to snuggle him. Decide that’s waaay too much effort.
• Send Pi to wash potatoes. Rest.
• Realize I might have to move at some point. Decide to put that off as long as possible.
• Try to use ESP to make a cup of tea. Decide I have absolutely no ESP-like abilities.
• Use ESP to cheer for the Bengals’ TD. Decide that really didn’t require ESP.
• Think taking a nap. Decide thinking is waaay too much work.
• Realize I am a pathetic lump of mom-ness.

Must go save up some energy to help Pi.

Love, Mom