Dear Kid,

Having one of those “Well, duh” moments.

There’s a video making the rounds on the ‘net (you can watch it here if you really want to) that proves that dogs have selective hearing.

Well, duh.

We (and by “we” I mean all cat parents, most dog parents, and many children parents—possibly hippo parents and giraffe parents too but I can’t be sure) see this EVERY STINKIN’ DAY.

Parent: Come here
Cat blinks.

Parent: Come here
Dog continues sniffing.

Parent: Come here
Child continues building Leggos.

Parent (whispering): …treat…
Everyone races to be the first (or second) to get the treat. Except the cat who saunters nonchalantly over but has plans to kill anyone who takes the cat treat.

This is not new news.

Parent says: Clean up your room, wash your face, then we’ll go shopping for school supplies.
Child hears: Let me grab my purse, a snack for you, and the car keys and we’ll go buy Star Wars Leggos.

Again. Nothing new.

Sometimes we hear the greatest new things on the internet.

Sometimes everything old is new again (extra points if you get the reference).

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

You have a brand new cousin! (Technically, a second cousin, but I think we’ll stick with “cousin”.)

Because brand new babies need advice, I went back into the archives and found a letter you wrote many years ago in anticipation of this day.

Dear Baby Cousin,

Welcome to the World!

There is so much to learn—fortunately, you have years and years to learn it all. But I’m sending you this letter to help you with the basics and to teach you some of my favorite baby games.

• Be happy. Refuse to nap. Continue to be happy. Continue to refuse to nap. Keep mom from napping too.
• Be unhappy. Refuse to nap. Let the world know you are unhappy. When the world doesn’t cater to you, turn up the volume.
• Coo happily. Wait until Mom is ready to leave the house. Barf. In her hair.
• Explain that you are hungry. Refuse to eat.
• Be completely unreasonable. Wait until Grandma and Grandpa arrive. Behave like an angel.
• When Mommy holds you, grab her hair. Don’t let go. Amaze everyone with your strength. If you’re feeling very advanced, wrap your fingers in her hair and get very, very stuck. Laugh until you figure out it’s not funny, then howl.

Love, Your Cousin The Kid

Do you remember all those games? I can’t wait to share them with your children.

Love, Mom