Dear Kid,

If you were more of a neatness-oriented child <stop>. Let’s be honest. If you were more of a neatness-oriented child you’d probably have chosen more neatness-oriented parents.


Yesterday you asked me to send you some Stuff from your room. Being the kind of mom I am, I agreed to undertake the challenge.

I ventured into the accumulation of chaos we call your room. Don’t worry, I had on a full hazmat suit and a helmet.

The thing about agreeing to send you Stuff is that I forgot about the finding the Stuff first.

I looked high (periscope up) and low (periscope down).

I did not find the Stuff.


So I did the Smartest Thing Possible.

I sent Dad up to your room to search.

After a few minutes, he didn’t reappear.

A few minutes later, he still hadn’t emerged and I began to wonder if the closet had eaten him.

Fortunately, it turned out that he was being thorough and had not been dissolved in a pile of laundry.

But he didn’t find the Stuff either.


And sorry.

Love, Mom

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