Posts Tagged "Kicker"

AZ Cardinals Hire Female Coach | Here’s What I Think

Dear Kid,

Happy, happy me.

I want boys and girls to know that which restroom you use is not what defines you—it only defines what gossip you are privy to. DearKidLoveMom.comThree huge cheers for the Arizona Cardinals (who might now be my second favorite Football team) for hiring the first female coach in the NFL.

They have hired Dr. Jen Welter, whose only flaw seems to be that she went to the wrong college in Boston.

Know this: she can kick your butt—in a lot of ways. She played rugby at that unmentionable school, played pro football for 14 seasons, and was a running back for indoor football. Yes, the boys’ team.

In the article My Friend the Internet shared with me, she was quoted as saying, “I want little girls everywhere to grow up knowing they can do anything, even play football.”

As the mom of a girl who played football, that’s not what I want. I want men everywhere to know that girls can do anything, even play football. I want boys and girls to know that which restroom you use is not what defines you—it only defines what gossip you are privy to.

I also want boys and girls to know that football players don’t have to be stupid (although in high school it seems to help—you knew I couldn’t resist). This woman has a masters and a PhD. She is athletic, she is feisty, she is willing to break barriers (the social and mental kinds), and she is smart.

Being smart is cool. Being successful is cool.

Going to the Other College Down the Street is not, but at least she didn’t play ice hockey.

According to the aforementioned article, the football players are ready to get to work with her. Three cheers for them for being smart enough to recognize talent.

So to @jwelter47 from all of us who at one time or another have been the only woman in the room: Best of Everything. We’re standing there with you and can’t wait to see the great things you accomplish.

And to the leadership and players of the Cardinals @AZCardinals: Congrats on being smart. Wishing you a great season. Please don’t beat the Bengals.

Love, Mom

Read More

Mom Thoughts on Professional Football

Dear Kid,

I’ve been thinking about football. Yes, I watched a fair amount of football yesterday. And woot! woot! to the Cincinnati Bengals who showed up in a big way.

Throwback uniforms. I get that the authentic (or replica) uniforms are a huge hit with merchandisers and people who make throwback uniforms, but (imho) many of them are a Huge Fashion Mistake. Think about it: it’s why the team doesn’t wear them anymore.

Quarterbacks. I usually think about kickers, but the High School season is over. What do quarterbacks do if they lose their voice? It’s one of the few (only?) positions in sport where vocalization is beyond critical. I’m concerned about this.

Coffee. Who makes coffee for the coaches during the game? I saw one of the coaches drinking a warm beverage from a cup (not an insulated container). How do they keep the coffee warm? And is it studly enough to drink hot chocolate if you don’t like coffee.

Weather. What happens if there is a snow advisory that shuts all the roads down during the game? Do they let the players leave the stadium? Or are they trapped there with The Other Team and Fans of The Other Team? Not to mention being trapped with all the post-game football funk. I wonder if this has ever happened.

Speaking of Personal Hygiene, what happens if a player breaks a nail during a game? Do they have an emergency manicurist on hand? And what is with some of these hairdos? Polamalu, yes. Everybody else, no. Somebody send coupons for Sports Clips. If someone accidentally pulls your hair, it’s your own fault. (For the record, I am highly biased in this particular instance. Girls can have long hair and have the right not to get it pulled. Professional football players [except Polamalu who has great hair and an equally great name] do not.)

Officials. Professional league officials are amazing. It is ridiculous how often they make the right call. And by “the right call” I mean the correct call as supported by video replay.

Also, I totally don’t get the fuzzy dudes for the Cricket commercials.

Love, Mom

Read More

Cincinnati Bengals Win in a Nail Biter (Don’t Bite Your Nails)

Dear Kid,

In case you were studying (yeah, I’m laughing too) and missed the Bengals game (or in case you were watching in Spanish of which I happen to know you speak not a word [did you know they simulcast in Spanish?]), I thought I would bring you my own special brand of Broad-casting.

Love Watching the Bengals Win! Who Dey! DearKidLoveMom.comKickoff through the endzone which is a touchback. Amazingly, even though it got to the endzone differently than Pi’s did, it has the same effect and Our Boys take the field on the 20. Striped dudes quickly get a first down. Sanu catches an uncatchable throw from Dalton by extending his arm three inches beyond his reach. Timeout Cincinnati (What? Why?) which turns out to be a bad idea, because they got sacked immediately afterword.

I think commentators need to change their perspective. They keep talking about “settling for a field goal.” How silly. The correct phraseology is “have the wonderful luck of scoring with a beautiful field goal” or possibly “being rescued by the kicker who managed to get points on the board when the rest of the time couldn’t.”

TD Bengals. Woot! PAT is solid. 7:0.

Kickoff, runback, penalty, bunch of plays, we almost intercept but dude was bobbling as he went out of bounds (still a good try), fourth and inches to the goal (what to do, what to do), they go for it, pass incomplete (should have let your kicker rescue you, boys), and the Bengals take over.

Your father, and several other Sycamore dads have pointed out on more than one occasion that Sir Madden says “Get the points.” Which we interpret to mean “let Pi kick the FG rather than blowing it on a fourth down attempt.” Baltimore should pay more attention to Dads and Sir Madden.

Bengals start on the not-very-many yard line. And the first quarter comes to an end.

Bengals, Ravens, commentary, commentary. Excellent D, and the Bengals get the ball back. Well, it was about to go that way. Instead, we oopsed, got a penalty, they oopsed, got a penalty. And the Ravens pay attention and allow their kicker to rescue them. 7:3.

Allergy medicine commercial makes me want to get a new puppy. Not sure that’s what they intended.

Commentator: And a new set of downs for Andy Dalton and the Bengals.

Makes me wonder if they ever recycle downs. “And a gently used set of downs for Dalton and the Bengals.”

Killer bunch of penalties (coaches will not be happy) and we punt. Bye-bye ball. Play, play.

Whistle was blown erroneously. Commentators are having a field day with that phrase. Not sure if they don’t really know what it means or if they just like the word “erroneously.” Moses supposes his toeses are roses, but Moses supposes erroneously. Extra points if you get the reference.

Ravens try a 50 yard FG. 7:6. See what happens when you listen to Papa Madden?

A few plays later, the half ends.

I’m sure interesting things were said during halftime, but I was in the kitchen dealing with the chaos there, so I didn’t hear any of it firsthand. I suspect it had something to do with the number of penalties the Bengals enjoyed.

Ravens get the ball. No biggie, because we intercept it. Woot! And promptly turn it into a touchdown. PAT is perfect. Of course. 14:6.

Kickoff. Play. Play. We intercept. BENGALS ROCK!!!

And we promptly allow Nugent to show how wonderful he is. 17:6.

Sorry. Got distracted for a minute. Turns out the Ravens decided to play football and scored a touchdown. With the two-point conversion, the score is now 17:14.

All is fine. Our boys take the ball. Nugent kicks a FG. 20:14.

This is the commercial point in our show. As in 1 minute of football, 17 hours of commercials. Rinse and repeat. Yawn.

Ravens have the ball. Hail Mary full of incomplete. More commercials. Punt. AND WE HAVE THE BALL BACK!

But wait! There’s more! Dalton loses the football (yark!), a Raven-type person picks it up and runs to the 8 before being tackled. (Officially: sack/fumble.) Next play is a Raven TD. The next play puts the Ravens in the lead. If you’re a Raven fan, you’re pretty happy right about now. I’m not. 20:21.

Come on, Bengals, time to get some more points.

Sigh. Ravens intercept. Booker is sighing too. But we have 5 minutes left (which is about 6 hours in football time), we have plenty of time left. Ravens kick a 53 yard FG (yay for kickers in general but not for this play specifically). 20:24. Some fans are leaving the stadium. Silly people.

Two incomplete passes (talk of doom and gloom by the commentators). Then Dalton rips one about 1,000 yards to Sanu! We’re on the 18. Small pass. Run goes nowhere. They want to run because there is so much time on the clock the commentators explain. So Dalton passes to inside the 10.

Two minute warning.

Did that commercial just show a guy leaving his dog alone, overnight, unplanned!!!? I hope I misunderstood because that’s just awful. Unplanned indeed.

Bengals to the 5.

Bengals to the 1 centimeter line. Ravens call time out.

Cinci to the 1 foot line. Ravens time out. Fourth and goal.

TOUCHDOWN!! THE CROWD GOES WILD. Booker sneezes. PAT perfecto.

57 seconds on the clock. 27:24. CanNOT believe people left this game early. Even those of us that might be napping are watching with mucho interest.

In case math isn’t your strong suit, the Bengals job is now to keep the Ravens out of field goal range. (See what I mean about kickers rescuing teams?)

Kick is bobbled in the endzone and the Ravens start on the 20. Two incomplete passes. Third and 10 with 47 seconds. This is so exciting! Holy @#$%@#$%. Pass complete, in for a TD, but brought back on a penalty. (It’s ok. I don’t need the couple of years that just took off my life.)

Thirty-two seconds.

Third and 20. Somebody tackle him!!! Flacco has to throw it away.

Fourth down.

Short pass. Dude runs a little but out of bounds short of the first down.

AND THE BENGALS WIN! THE BENGALS WIN! Who Dey!!! And don’t all those people who left early feel dumb now?

Nicely done, Striped Ones, nicely done.

Love, Mom

Real Bengals fans Like DearKidLoveMom.


Read More

Friday Night Lights – Cross Town Showdown | Report on Girl Kicker and More

Pi at first varsity football game Dear Kid,

First time under the lights as a Varsity player and Pi went 5 for 6 (nerves got to her on the first PAT) helping Sycamore to a 41 to 7 victory over Walnut Hills. At one point she went out for a PAT and the student section started chanting her name. That was cool. But not nearly as fun as her coming into the house and dancing around chanting “I started in a Varsity game.”

There was an incident (the school’s terminology) at the game when a railing gave way in the student section. Several kids were injured but my understanding is that none of the injuries were serious. It was very weird to see the entire student section sitting down. After a while they moved most of the students to different areas of the stadium.

As usual, Dad wandered rather than sitting with me during the game (although he spent the entire pregame with me, so that was nice). I ended up sitting with a family that recently moved here from the Netherlands. They had never seen a football game (American football). We had a really nice time together.

The team has their pre-game (and I assume all other) meetings in the team room as the locker room is problematic when there is more than one gender on the team. It’s a small-ish room and Pi was telling us how cool it was when the players all bellow “huuh” and the sound echos around the room.

Only when she said tried to grunt the “huuh” it sounded like a dying duck. Dad tried to teach her how to grunt like a boy properly.





“Like you mean it”


“Not grrrr. HUUUH!”


“No teeth. Just Huuh!”

Pi rolls her lips over her teeth like she has just taken out dentures. “ehhhhhhehhehehee hee hee hee.”

By now we are all laughing. Except Booker who was getting concerned that Something Wasn’t Right.

“Try bringing your arms down like you’re doing the chicken dance. Huuh!”

Flap, flap, flap. “Aaaaaooooooohhhh.”

“No, just once. Huuh.”

“Haaaaaaoooooh.” Then she fell off her chair because she was laughing so hard.

The girl can kick. But she can’t grunt. Yet.

Love, Mom

Read More


Can't remember to check for new posts? No prob. I'll send it to you.

Online Marketing

Blogging Fusion Blog Directory

Blogarama - The Blog Directory

Blog Directory
%d bloggers like this: