Dear Kid,

It is Monday.

Man does not live by coffee alone. Have a danish. ~Author Unknown

And somehow (as you probably know) Monday mornings arrive earlier than mornings any other day of the week.

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. ~Stephanie Piro

I don’t know why Mondays insist on being early.

In Seattle you haven’t had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it’s running. ~Jeff Bezos

I practically leap out of bed at the same time on weekends and feel like I’ve wasted half the day. Some weekend days it’s the same time.

And occasionally I leap. But not very often.

Herbal tea tastes so much better when it’s coffee. ~Author Unknown

The point is Mondays arrive on their own slightly sadistic schedule. Without the possibility of turning over and going back to sleep for a few hours.

Déjà Brew: The feeling that you’ve had this coffee before. ~Author Unknown

I really must teach the Dust Dragons to brew coffee. At least the first cup of the day. If they’re going to live here, they really should earn their keep. Mostly it seems they’re lazier than I am.

Forever: Time it takes to brew the first pot of coffee in the morning. ~Author Unknown

Meanwhile, I have a date with a K-cup.

Happy Monday.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

There is a very interesting phenomenon going on in our house. Not to worry—I’m on the case and I’m sure I’ll solve it eventually.

But in the meantime we have A Situation.

Coffee evaporation is not like normal evaporation.

Let me explain.

I’ve noticed that very often I will make a cup of coffee (have I told you how much I adore my little Keurig? I know it’s not great for the environment and I feel badly about that. But not enough to give up my adorable little Keurig that I adore. Did I mention the adoring part?).

Where was I?

Right. Very often I will make a cup of coffee, carry the steaming mug over to the kitchen table, read a section of the newspaper, pick up the mug—and discover that IT’S EMPTY!

This is a particularly interesting phenomenon because I am generally the only one in the house who drinks coffee.

Puppy: I would drink coffee if you let me
Me: Coffee is very bad for puppies and you can’t reach that high.
Puppy: Look who’s making short jokes…

I am considering starting a research study to see if this evaporation anomaly happens in other places or just in our house.

Right after I go make myself another cup of coffee.

Love, Mom