Dear Kid,

Soccer is a ridiculously easy game. (And by “ridiculously easy” I mean more complicated than you might think.)

Because it is easy, I give Pi the same advice before every game: The ball goes in the net.

Sometimes she even takes my advice. Easiest thing ever.

But there are things that make soccer more complicated. And I’m not talking about understanding the plays. (People who know what they’re talking about when it comes to soccer insist that there are plays and set pieces and other preplanned events. The rest of us are pretty sure the ball just gets kicked around a lot.)


Even I can play soccer.

Opponents. Of course, soccer is made slightly more complex by the other team who sees it as their job to keep the ball out of the net. Or at least have it go into the other net.

Teammates. Teammates do not always play perfectly. This can tend to cause inconsistencies on the field. And groaning on the sidelines.

Rules. Then there are the complications because of the rules. (The rules work better when they’re enforced—looking at you, referee who decided that calling fouls was for wimps and he was darn sure not going to be a wimp.)

Traffic. Traffic is another complication, made worse on Tournament weekends when everyone and their brother is going to a soccer field that is just on the wrong side of the field you’re trying to get to.

Do you think medieval tournaments (think jousting and other fun sports) had parking issues?

Kettle corn. Kettle corn really isn’t a complication. At least not until the little boy next to you spills his and sets up a wail suitable for replacing all the emergency sirens in a six mile radius. I’m quite sure knights in shining armor didn’t have to deal with kettle corn spillage. They might have had to deal with loud children.

Port-a-Potties. Complication. And by complication, I mean “ick.” Especially if you’ve been sitting in the sun. And by “sitting in the sun,” I mean drinking a lot of water while sitting in the sun. And the port-a-potties have been sitting in the sun. Double ick.

And yet, with all the complications, soccer is ridiculously easy. The ball goes in the net. The crowd goes wild. The player have fun. And eventually we go home.

Love, Mom