Dear Kid,

Once upon a time, there was no such thing as macaroni and cheese. Hundreds of thousands of college students went hungry for lack of a blue box. Some of them ate ramen noodles. Most of them just drank beer and pretended to go to class.

Then in the early 1900s someone figured out how to create that amazing American invention: processed cheese food.

FACT:  Any food that actually has the word “food” in its name is not actually food.

So there was James Lewis Kraft, scrolling through his newsfeed, when he came across the idea of extending the shelf life of creating processed cheese. Then he made it magically delicious by adding macaroni and a blue box. In 1937, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese sold for 19 cents a box and enabled families to eat during the Depression.

Food needs during the Depression and during college are remarkably similar: dirt cheap, easy to make, inexpensive, minimal refrigeration required, and lack-of-budget-friendly. Ta-Da! Mac and cheese.

Not only is it cheap, it tastes good and glows like a flashlight. What more could you ask for?

What’s your favorite way to eat mac and cheese?

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

If you think a “cicerone” is a type of Italian food, you clearly haven’t been watching enough Food TV.

This is a good thing since you are supposed to be studying things other than food. And, being the kind of mom I am, I am here to provide the small bits that are missing in your more formal education.

A Cicerone is a beer expert. Not just any beer expert. A tested and certified beer expert. Specifically one who has been tested and certified by the Cicerone Certifying People.

Although it sounds like an excellent Italian meal.

Becoming a Cicerone involves learning about beer and taking tests. If it were an Italian meal it would involve cheese and sauce.

Becoming a Master Cicerone involves more learning and more tests and blind taste tests. Only about 2 people per year qualify for Master Cicerone status.

Drinking slightly flat beer in college does not qualify one for Cicerone status.

It might however qualify one to eat Italian food.

Love, Mom