Dear Kid,

This morning I woke up waaaay before my alarm thought I needed to.

My typical MO (modus operandi) when I wake up early is to do the only rational thing and close my eyes and go back to sleep. This particular morning, however, my eyes and my brain refused to cooperate with the going-back-to-sleep plan.

Did you know that the plural of modus operandi is modi operandi? Of course you did.

Don’t ask why; I have no idea. It’s not like I went to bed early last night. But there I was: awake. Not bleary eyed where-is-my-coffee awake, but really awake. Brain functioning awake.

While going back to sleep would have been the better option, there is something delicious about really awake before you have to get up and start the day.

Things I thought about while lying in bed wide awake:

This week’s menu. Here’s what I thought: we should have one. (I never actually got around to creating it.)

Today’s blog. Here’s what I thought: I should write one.

My comforter: Here’s what I thought: I love snuggling here knowing I don’t have to get up for an hour or so.

House cleaning. Here’s what I thought: Someone should do that.

Dreams. Here’s what I thought: I can’t remember what I dreamed about.

Clothes. Here’s what I thought: Maybe I should decide what to wear today.

Clocks. Here’s what I thought: Why the heck am I awake?

Sleep. Here’s what I thought: I should probably try to get some.

Reality: Here’s what I thought: Yark! My alarm is set to go off in 10 minutes!

Breakfast: Here’s what I thought: Yum!

Clock. Here’s what I thought: How did it get to be time to leave for work already?

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

I think I am going to try a new approach to housework this weekend.

In the past, I’ve tried tackling housework projects head-on. It’s never worked out as well as I might hope. But I’m pretty sure I’ve figured out the issue.

The problem as I see it is that the housework is fighting back. When I tackle projects straight-on, the housework sees me coming, marshalls its considerable resources, and stages a successful counterattack. While some of the dust acts to distract me by jumping on the Swiffer, most of the dirt scatters before I get to it and then reaccumulates after I’ve moved on.

Result: Dust Dragons: 3. Me: 0.

I think the correct approach must be to sneak up on the housework. If it doesn’t see me coming, I might be able to lob in a squirt or two of Windex or something before the barriers go up. I might be able to corral some of the Tupperware and shove it into the cabinet before it realizes it is no longer going to be free-range plastic. I might be able to get the laundry done and folded before it takes root.

I envision a home with a new score: Me: 1; Chaos: 0.

Then again, I might decide to get a pedicure and a blindfold.

Love, Mom