Posts Tagged "hospital"

21 Things You Should Never Stay in the Hospital Long Enough to Do

Dear Kid,

I hope you don’t ever have a long hospital stay. But if you do have to spend any amount of time in the hospital, please understand that it is important to leave before you get too used to being there.

21 Things You Should Never Stay in the Hospital Long Enough to Do. DearKidLoveMom.comHere are 21 things you should never stay in the hospital long enough to do.

  1. Learn to like hospital food.
  2. Celebrate more than one major holiday.
  3. Write the Great American Novel.
  4. Read and comment on all of Shakespeare’s plays. Including the obscure ones.
  5. Learn the names of the nurses who fill in when the regular nurses are on vacation.
  6. Become proficient in Jell-O stacking.
  7. Knit a sweater. For Hagrid.
  8. Knit an afghan for one of the nurse’s babies.
  9. Memorize the hospital meal rotation.
  10. Be invited to a doctor’s retirement party.
  11. Earn a hospital designation like “The Patient We’ve Kept the Longest.”
  12. Be written up in the American Medical Association Journal as “an interesting case.”
  13. Become proficient with an arc welder (yeah, that idea is still cracking me up).
  14. Learn how to drink hot coffee through a straw.
  15. Figure out how to smuggle in good coffee and chocolate.
  16. Launch a line of makeup suited for hospital lighting.
  17. Earn “frequent patient” platinum status.
  18. Be invited to join a hospital committee as the patient representative.
  19. Outgrow your pedicure.
  20. Outgrow your hospital gown.
  21. Turn into “that patient I was telling you about.”

Love, Mom

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How To Pass The Time In The Hospital

Dear Kid,

Grandma is in the hospital for a few days. Knowing her, this is not easy since they expect you to rest and relax and follow their rules when you’re in the hospital.

Grandma is not known for resting and relaxing on someone else’s schedule.

So being the kind of kid I am, I turned to My Friend the Internet for ideas on how to entertain oneself when one is supposed to be Taking It Easy rather than scaling mountains.

And MFTI let me down. In a big way.

Oh, there were ideas. They were just 17 kinds of awful. Maybe 18.

So I turned to The People of Facebook for ideas, and TPoF did not let me down. (Thank you FB friends!)

Don't stay in the hospital long enough to read all of these! DearKidLoveMom.comIn no particular order, here are

  • Books, audio books, Kindle books
  • Movies
  • Things to do while you're in the hospital. DearKidLoveMom.comKnitting
  • Adult coloring books (‘Adult’ as in ‘for grown ups’ not as in ‘XXX’)
  • Sudoku and crosswords
  • Magazines
  • Play soothing spa music in your room so the nurses hang out there
  • Organize photos for albums (which sounds like work to me)
  • Investigate the family tree through

Nobody mentioned “Talk to the nurses about your grandchildren” or “Tell the medical staff about”; clearly an oversight.

Keep yourself entertained with some scrap metal and an arc welder. DearKidLoveMom.comOf all the great suggestions, my all-time fave was (wait for it): Bring her some scrap metal and an arc welder. (Yep, I am still giggling too.)

Mostly, I hope she’ll relax, rest, recover, and head home soon. Those would be good things to add to a hospital to-do list.

Love, Mom

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