Dear Kid,

Here are the 27 reasons there wasn’t a post on today.

1. I didn’t wake up in time.
2. I’m still asleep.
3. There wasn’t enough coffee in the house.
4. There wasn’t enough coffee in the world.
5. Dad wanted to go for a hike.
6. Dad wanted to go for a hike at the Cincinnati Nature Center which is about half an hour from our house.
7. Going for a hike with Dad took all of my ability to focus.
8. Going for a hike with Dad took all of my ability to focus which meant I didn’t have a lot left to avoid stepping in the mud.
9. There was a lot of mud.
10. Having the ability to focus on avoiding the mud wouldn’t have helped because there was too much be able to avoid it all.
11. I gave the Puppy a bath yesterday.
12. He went on the hike with us.
13. Did I mention the mud?
14. Cleaning the mud off the Puppy took the teeny tiny bit of concentration I had left.
15. Except we still had to get from the cleaning-off-the-Puppy area to the car.
16. Which required cleaning him up again.
17. And he still doesn’t smell clean.
18. But we had a nice hike.
19. Even though I only burned 16.5 calories the entire time.
20. Then I had to spend a ton of time contemplating the reasons that Moms burn 8 calories an hour while you burn 4 billion calories an hour.
21. Sitting still.
22. Which left me devoid of words. Correction: Devoid of printable words.
23. And then I had to cook.
24. But first I had to go grocery shopping because (as Pi has been saying) there is no food in the house.
25. Unless you’re a puppy.
26. Which I am not.
27. And neither are you.

Which explains why there was no post today. Except now there is.

Love, Mom