Dear Kid,

Seven is a very interesting number.

It’s prime (you knew that). It’s also a happy prime and a lucky prime (I looked up definitions for both—they are complicated and interesting mostly to math nerds so I am not going to explain them to you here).

Note: “Math nerds” is a descriptor. Like tall. And other things I’m not.

There are seven deadly sins (pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth), seven days of the week, seven colors in the rainbow, and seven seas (Arctic Ocean, North Atlantic Ocean, South Atlantic Ocean, Indian Ocean, North Pacific Ocean, South Pacific Ocean, and the Antarctic Ocean. And sloth).

Seven is the neutral value on the pH scale, the sum of any two opposite sides of a standard die is 7, and there are seven SI base units (meter, kilogram, second, ampere, kelvin, mole, and candela. And sloth.).

There are seven virtues (chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, kindness, patience, and humility) and seven acts of mercy. There are seven great saints (in Hinduism) and 7 chakras. In Islam, there are 7 layers of the earth and seven skies. There are seven sisters in the Pleidades and Seven Cities of Gold.

There are seven continents, seven wonders of the world (ancient, modern, and sloth), and seven hills in Rome, Istanbul, and Cincinnati.

There are seven pure notes on the diatonic scale, seven liberal arts (grammar, logic, rhetoric, arithmetic, geometry, music theory, and astronomy. And sloth), seven honest men, and seven sages (in Greece, India, and in the Bamboo Grove in China). There are 7 ages of man (in Will’s As You Like It), and seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine in Pharaoh’s dream. There are 7 books in the Harry Potter series (and the number 7 is meaningful in them).

There is 7-Eleven (and 711), 7 Up, and Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (sloth isn’t one of the habits).

Bond is 007 (which is the same as 7 but sounds much cooler). There are Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, The Magnificent Seven, and Seven Dwarves. There were Seven Years in Tibet, and Seven Days in May. George Carlin identified 7 words you can never say on TV.

There is the seventh son of the seventh son, the seven year itch, and the seventh inning stretch. In the NHL, MLB, and NBA, the maximum number of games in a playoff series is 7.

And even if I said it seven times seven, I wouldn’t begin to express how proud we are of you.

Happy 7.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Holy Moly! Facebook has gone and done it. The inconceivable (I do nah think tha’ word means wha’ you think it means) has happened. Our entire Universe has been turned upside down.

Yes. Facebook has brought the world of Harry Potter to life.

And by “the world of HP” I do not mean the theme park or the movies. I mean the actual world. Into our world.

On FB, you can now make your profile picture a short, looping video. Short as in 7 seconds. Looping as in will play over and over again making PLM (people like me) somewhat sea sick. Video as in pictures that move a la Harry Potter.

Mind boggling.

Or possibly not as inventors constantly push technology to catch up to fiction. Or perhaps a better way to say it is that they push to turn fiction into non-fiction.

I don’t think I’ll be changing my picture to a video any time soon.

But as soon as portkeys are real, this mom is going to do a lot of traveling.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Good news (according to me).

The Time of the Beard is over. Lumberjack Face is out and smooth shaven is in. Goodbye fuzzy face.

For anyone who needs up-to-date info on shaving, I am thoughtfully providing a link to Mashable’s guide to shaving.

So everyone should go shave. Except for the Puppy who is going to retain his furriness.

And Santa who is exempt from facial hair trends.

And bearded dragons who don’t have real beards anyway.

Papa Smurf gets to keep his beard.

Bearded iris don’t have to shave.

Dumbledore—no shaving necessary.

Everyone else, go find your chin.

Love, Mom