Dear Kid,

STOP EVERYTHING!!

It’s Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day (I did not make this up). Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day was invented sometime in the 1960s in Rochester, NY (because everyone thinks of starting their day off with ice cream when it’s minus 142 degrees outside).

There are all sorts of ice cream flavors including lots of breakfast flavors (I’m not aware of a green eggs and ham one, although there very well could be such a thing).

There are the fruit flavors (orange, banana, strawberry), the coffee flavors (coffee, mocha), and the breakfast pastry flavors (donut, cinnamon roll).

There is bacon ice cream, and French toast ice cream, and most ice cream is made with an egg base.

There are waffle cones and cookie cones and don’t even get me started about the variety of add-ins that are really should be considered breakfast food.

The big question (duh) is WHO CARES IF IT’S PRETENDING TO BE BREAKFAST FOOD? It’s a holiday. Ice cream is being celebrated. What more rationale could you possibly want?

Eat your breakfast.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Have you heard about the Great Egg Shortage hitting the US? It’s a real thing, not a new Dr. Seuss book or (just) a bad intro line for a blog.

Having finished with Ebola, the Universe has decided to hand out a second place epidemic called Avian Bird Flu targeting egg-laying birdies in particular.

Which means that while the price of your chicken wings will stay relatively stable, the price of your egg McBreakfast is skyrocketing.

And that’s not really the problem.

The issue isn’t just that the cost of eggs is going up. The issue is that there aren’t as many eggs to be had. Hence the Great Egg Shortage.

So far, the average person (and by “average person” I mean me) hasn’t really seen a big impact. Most of the chain restaurants are still serving eggs and most of the bakeries have been able to keep up. Some restaurants are cutting their breakfast hours or pushing non-eggy food like bagels and lox (not really suffering too much here, are we?). And at least one grocer is rationing eggs. But at a limit of 3 dozen per visit, it doesn’t feel like a huge problem.

Yet.

So far no one has managed to come up with a great way to treat the avian flu. The best medical advice appears to be “this will all go away once it gets warmer.” Which is relatively good news in that it’s already June and presumably it will get warmer one of these days. (Mother Nature–that was a subtle hint.)

On the other hand, guess what I had for breakfast while they’re still available?

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Do you like your College Life?

Yes mom. I like my college life.

Do you like to crew a boat?
Do you like to feed a goat?

Yes, I like to crew a boat
but Mama, we don’t have a goat.*

Do you ride your bike to class?
Or do you sit upon your butt?

I ride my bike from here to there,
I ride my bike most everywhere.
I really like to crew a boat,
and when it’s cold, I wear my coat.

Do you get your homework done
or are you having too much fun?
Did you take a quiz today?
Did you pass it anyway?

Would you? Could you? read a book?
Would you? Could you? take a look?

Yes, Mom, I can read a book
and at my notes, I’ll take a look.
I did not have a quiz today,
but I’d have passed it anyway.
And I can study here or there,
Yes, I can study anywhere.

Is your laundry three weeks old?
Is your pizza getting cold?

My laundry isn’t three weeks old, my pizza rarely gets too cold,
I wear a coat to keep me warm,
I take umbrellas in a storm
I eat my breakfast and my lunch
My friends are nice, a real cool bunch.

I’m doing fine, I’m doing well,
And that is all there is to tell.

So please Mom, while I love this stuff
You have to know, enough’s enough.

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss!

Love, Mom

*Tune in tomorrow for an explanation of the the goat.