Dear Kid,

There is a bird outside our window. I’ve named him Rodney. Rodney is looking for female companionship (this being the season of love).

The problem is Rodney is desperate.

He sounds exhausted. He’s busy puffing up his chest feathers like he’s The Dude but in reality, Rodney is not the dude. I’m sure he’s a nice guy, but he is just trying too hard.

I want to say: Rodney, take a nap, get some rest, and think this thing through a little. But I haven’t said anything as I am not a well-known romance expert in the avian world.

My guess is that Rodney’s mother told him it was time to get a girl because she wanted grandbirdies and she wasn’t getting any younger thank you very much. I say this because it doesn’t really sound like Rodney’s heart is in the song.

(Tune in tomorrow for Part II)

Love, Mom