Dear Kid,

Google (All Hail!) has decided that blogs are news. Actually, Google (Huzzah!) has decided that everything’s up to date on the internet and therefore many sites like Reddit and twitter are legit sources of news. Google (Woot! Woot!) is (most intelligently) including blogs in this new definition of news.

I don’t have actual data on how Google (Three Cheers!) decides which blogs and which sites to include, but no one really understands the Big G’s algorithms (and if people tell you they do, do NOT buy real estate from them). So in the absence of facts to the contrary, I assume Google (Hip Hip Hooray!) is choosing to use DearKidLoveMom.com as a source of information for all things.

This is terrific news for DearKidLoveMom and really sad news for anyone attempting to do actual research or to find an up-to-date fact.

I have plenty of up-to-date. And I occasionally publish facts. I just don’t always do them at the same time.

In all probability, you are unlikely to see me quoted as the Source of All Knowledge regarding soup bowls or the Hero of Horseradish or the Guru of Greek Mythology (none of which are trending in popular culture much less news media), but I love the possibility, infinitesimal though it may be, that I might one day be a source. Pick me! Pick Me!

Just call me Deep Throat.

Love, Mom

In anticipation of DKLM becoming a respected news source, feel free to spread the word.

Dear Kid,

I have got to learn to be more specific when speaking with (to?) Google.

We are having A Gathering in a few weeks and I thought I’d take a look for do-ahead appetizers. Because “doing-ahead” means less “doing then.” Not to mention getting some of the Cleaning Up After A Kitchen Disaster out of the way.

I asked Google what it thought about finding me recipes for Make Ahead Appetizers. Google, being mostly accommodating, thought that was a fine idea for a search and returned a boatload of options.

There were only three problems. (Side note: it turns out there are always three. It was one of the first things I learned as a consultant in the Days Before You. If you are writing a presentation and you only have two points, you’ve overlooked something [or you’ve gotten sloppy about your thinking]; if you have more than three points, you’ve included something that doesn’t matter [ or you’ve gotten sloppy about your thinking].)

1. Google and I don’t exactly define “Make Ahead” the same way. To me, it means at least a week or two (or three) in advance. Google seems to think “Make Ahead” means “anytime before the guests arrive.”
2. I wasn’t clear that I was looking for Easy Do Ahead Recipes. Some of the recipes Google suggested require hundreds of ingredients, a week and a half of prep time, and a battalion of sous chefs. Not exactly what I had in mind.
3. Google neglected to look at the types of ingredients I typically use. Frozen Yak Tongue is not on my regular grocery list–and I don’t intend to venture that far in pursuit of culinary fun. This is not an episode of Chopped.

So I will continue to search for easy, do-ahead recipes. That are a step or two above “pour chips in bowl and open store-bought dip” but several steps below “thaw frozen yak tongue.”

If you have any ideas, I’m all ears.

Love, Mom

The photo is of silly little penguin appetizers that do not fall into the Make Far in Advance category, but they were so cute I wanted to include the photo. I thought this was going to be a caption, but Word Press is not supporting that theory at the moment, so it’s just a Note.