Posts Tagged "gift"

Happy Boxing Day!

Dear Kid,

Happy Boxing Day!

Not as in Rocky or Creed (which I enjoyed much more than I thought I would—thank you for “insisting” that we watch the movie together). Rather as in Boxes to Give to People.

The history of Boxing Day goes back to the Middle Ages (as in history, not as in your parents’ age) when the servants all had to work on Christmas so that the upper class (as in the people they worked for) could enjoy the Christmas Holiday without having to, um, work.

The servants were then (sometimes) given the day after Christmas off (after having worked twice as hard to be sure everything was ready for the upper class (as in the people they worked for) as well as working twice as hard the day after Boxing Day to clean up. But they were (often) given Boxing Day off.

And the tradition was that that the merchant class and upper class would take boxes (see where I’m going with this?), fill them with food and gifts, and deliver them to the servants, tradespeople, and other less fortunate types.

Now you know.

Love, Mom

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Do You Know This About Miss L? I Bet You Don’t

Dear Kid,

Did you know that the real name of The Statue of Liberty is Liberty Enlightening the World? Neither did I.

Did you know Ms. Liberty is made of copper? Of course you did. That’s why she’s green. (Not because she’s really a frog. Even though she was made by frogs. Get it?)

Did you know she’s a goddess? The Roman goddess Libertas (goddess of freedom). And she’s not holding a book, she’s holding a tabula ansata (tablet evoking the law). And upon said tabula ansata is the date July 4, 1776 (penalty points if you don’t recognize the date). The torch she’s holding gets hit by about 600 bolts of lightning every year.

Did you know there’s a broken chain at her feet? No, not an ankle bracelet. Broken shackles and chains. Also, her right foot is raised, depicting her moving forward away from oppression and slavery.

Did you know that her nose is almost (but not quite) as tall as I am? This is more a statement about the bigness of her nose than it is about the shortness of your mother.

The seven spikes on the crown represent the seven oceans and the seven continents of the world, indicating the universal concept of liberty. She was a lighthouse from 1886 to 1902, and could be seen by boats over 24 miles away.

Try not to climb Miss L during a storm. In high winds, she sways by up to 3 inches, and her torch can move 5 inches. Not for the faint of heart.

Now you know.

Love, Mom

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Rabbits and the Last Day of the Month

Dear Kid,

I’m a little concerned that you are missing a critical part of your education.

I’m not sure you know to say “Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit” on the first day of every month. And tomorrow is the first day of the month.

Not everyone agrees that you’re supposed to say “rabbit, rabbit, rabbit.” Some people think you’re supposed to say “White Rabbit.” Some people think one “rabbit” is sufficient. Everyone agrees that the capital letters are optional.

There are many other variations of rabbit-ness. Some people say you have to say it up the chimney (no word on what happens if you live in a fireplace-free abode). Some people say you have to say “Brown Rabbit” the night before (right before bed) and then “Rabbit, Rabbit” when you wake up.

Do rabbits have to say rabbit, rabbit, rabbit on the first day of the month? DearKidLoveMom.comAccording to My Friend the Internet, the tradition of saying something lapin on the first day of the month goes back to the 13th century. This of course is before anyone you know was born, so we don’t really have an ear-witness account. But if MFtI says it’s so, who am I to argue?

The tradition apparently started in England, so it might help if you say it with a British accent.

Most of the “experts” on the internet seem to feel that the reason for saying “rabbit, rabbit” (remember? the capitals are optional) is so that you will get a present before the end of the month. This tends to be most effective when you choose to say “rabbit, rabbit” the first day of your birthday or anniversary month. Or December.

Some people say that you’ll have good luck (and perhaps monetary fortune) if you say “rabbit, rabbit, rabbit” first thing on the first day of the month.

I believe that you won’t get the plague if you say it (I, personally, have never gotten the plague, so it must be true).

Some children say you’re supposed to wear pajamas inside out and say “rabbit, rabbit, rabbit” right before going to bed to ensure a snow day the next day. Those children generally had school they next day so I wouldn’t rely on it as a get-out-of-studying technique.

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit (I like the capitals).

Love, Mom

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My Present View of Gifts

Dear Kid,

‘Tis that time of year when children come home from college (we’re delighted to have you back!), the temperatures are dropping (not so delighted), and weird and unexpected gift ideas are popping up all over.

Last year you did a marvelous job of not buying me the things I asked you never to get me. If you have a burning desire to see a list of things you don’t need to buy for me this year (including bacon bandages, a penis-shaped egg fryer, and a nose shower dispenser) you’ll find the list here.

Merry Everything, Love Mom DearKidLoveMom.comGifts are a interesting things. Some gifts are so wonderful they make us cry (I am thinking a specifically of a life size Barbie head to apply makeup to that I was given when I was a wee tot. Over the moon happy. Many tears.). Some gifts are so awful they make us want to weep (I am thinking of days-of-the-week undies I was given as an even smaller wee tot).

Some gifts fall into the “small thought to say I’m thinking of you” category (a cookie, a candy cane, a pair of socks with little hearts on them). Some gifts are about deeper meaning (a contribution made in your name to a favorite charity, a handmade card). Some gifts are full of tradition, and some gifts merely fill up the “Oh, dang! I’ve got to come up with something right now!” category.

All too often we forget how fortunate we are to live in a time and place where we can focus on the non-essential (nose shower dispenser? really?).

What do I want this year? A little bit of time. Time to breathe, time to appreciate, and most of all time to spend with you and Pi.

Love, Mom

 

 

 

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Doggie Underwear (and Other Gifts)

Dear Kid,

Well, I messed up. Big time. I gave the puppy (who I know so well) a gift the other night. I was expecting joyous tail wagging and toy playing. Turned out the toy was the equivalent of giving him doggie underwear. “This? This is a present? You want me to play with this? Ah, no…. and it doesn’t even have the days of the week.”

I don’t know how I could have been so far off the mark. It was squishy (his preferred mouth-feel). It had stuffing (all the better for pulling out), it had a squeaker (all the better for squeaking and then pulling out), and Daddy was willing to throw it.

Booker sniffed. He sniffed again. And then he put his head in the gift box hopping I’d made a mistake and that his real present was still in there. Somewhere.

I felt badly. I really did. No one under the age of 25 wants underwear as a present. Most people over 25 don’t want undies either. And I have never, ever met a puppy who put underwear on the wish list.

Booker with his new Chipmunk toy DearKidLoveMom.comSo last night I gave him a different present. A toy chipmunk. With a squeaker, and a bit of stuffing. And (a new addition to the puppy toy world) some crinkly stuff in its legs.

Booker sniffed. And without even sniffing again, he took his beloved new toy and trotted away where he could tell it how much he loves it (and by “tell” I mean “gnaw”) without interference (while keeping one eye out for thieves and villains who might think playing Snatch the New Chipmunk would be a fun game). Home run! The human equivalent of a car. Or at least a really cool set of headphones.

Booker and Dad discuss Chipmunk ownership DearKidLoveMom.comIn other gift catastrophes, I had an excellent idea for Daddy for his birthday. A truly wonderful idea for the Man Who Is Impossible to Buy For. Im-possible. But I, the amazing wife that I am, came up with the World’s Greatest Idea. Under the guise of “running errands” I went to buy said gift over the weekend.

Except it was three times the amount I was prepared to spend. Yikes! Back to the drawing board (with very little time to draw).

Any and all ideas appreciated.

Love, Mom

P.S. Don’t forget to call Dad to say Happy Birthday!

Haven’t Liked DearKidLoveMom? Good heavens, why not? Well, there’s no time like the present (get it? present?). Facebook

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