Posts Tagged "frog"

You Are Not Going to Believe This About Frogs

Dear Kid,

I woke up with the Frog Song running through my head (frogs here, frogs there, frogs were jumping everywhere). It left lots of webbed footprints in my brain and I thought, “Wouldn’t it be a good idea to write to the Kid about frogs today?”

No, it wouldn’t.

I discovered (as I sipped my most excellent Buckeye Buzz coffee) that My Friend the Internet has not organized weird facts about frogs into a nice sanitized version suitable for moms to read before breakfast.

Instead, there are a lot of froggy facts that are designed to keep 8 year old boys happily making gross noises for hours. And while I do not begrudge those children their hours of fun, neither do I wish to learn about frogs using their eyeballs to swallow their food before I’ve had mine. Food that is.

Since real life was off the table (amazing how often that happens in my world), I decided to delve into the land of fiction for frog info. DearKidLoveMom.comAnd that was one of the tamer factoids.

Since real life was off the table (amazing how often that happens in my world), I decided to delve into the land of fiction for frog info. Turns out there are a lot of frogs in fiction, including Frog Thor (I kid you not), various frogs who are really princes, and Trevor (of H. Potter fame). You may have fun making your own list of frogs and toads if you have nothing better to do at the moment. I’ll wait.

The most important frogs (and by “most important” I mean “my favorites”) are Kermit the Frog and his nephew Robin. They sing. They dance. They are adorable. They are kind-hearted. They invite self-centered pigs into their lives. And not once have they talked about using their eyes to swallow their food.

Hope any frogs you encounter today manage to keep their hygienic, digestive, and reproductive habits to themselves.

Love, Mom

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Dart Wars Week 3 (A Very Different Week Indeed)

Dear Kid,

Dart Wars is a Big Freakin’ Deal here. I know this because teenagers are actually using their cell phones to have conversations. Talking conversations, not just texting.

Week 3 is here. Sort of.

Dart Wars Week 3 and I don’t have much to report.

Week 2 included lots of crazy tweets and photos of puppies (don’t ask why Dart Wars included photos of puppies—I have no idea. But I’m not really one to argue about cute fluffiness.). Week 2 also included our team winning and moving on to Week 3.

And now the giggles and strategies of Week 1 seem to have disappeared as have the girls themselves. Gone are the strategy sessions that rival plots of a Bourne movie (or book—I love the books). Gone are the days of actually talking on the phone (yep, we’re back to texting). Gone are the various team members descending in ones and twos and half dozens on our house.

I can’t tell if they are all too busy or just plain bored.

The interesting thing is that (according to the scouting reports) they are up against a really good team this week. A really good team who seems to have been afflicted with the same malaise.

No one has showed up at our house (Puppy says it’s because they are afraid of him—he’s said he will protect the girls and he means it). No one has chased the girls across town. No one has even hired a helicopter to spy out the situation.

It’s a bit of a change from Week 1.

Stay tuned for Important Dart Wars Updates.

Love, Mom

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Dart Wars Arrives!

Dear Kid,

As I may have mentioned, it’s Spring. And with Spring comes tulips, and bunnies, and weeding, and Dart Wars.

Dart Wars originated in Ancient Greece when the students of Greekus High Schoolus formed squads and bought Nerf guns.

Dart Wars do not in any way shape or form involve dart frogs. DearKidLoveMom.comThe rules have remained relatively unchanged since then (with slight modifications for inventions like cars and cell phones).

Pi is participating in Dart Wars this year and the Wars start tomorrow.

Planning for Dart Wars is somewhere between planning for Prom and organizing shopping for Black Friday. It requires the attention to detail generally only seen in operating rooms and the audacity of a Hail Mary pass with only 3 seconds left in the game.

There are meetings, wardrobe consultations, battle plans, alternative plans, hiding places, instructions for allies (and parents), contingency plans, housing arrangements, reprovisioning stations, and warnings to NOT under ANY circumstances—ANY—invite an Unknown Person into the house. ANY.

It also involves teenagers voluntarily getting up much earlier than usual which may be the most amazing part of the entire event.

Stay tuned for the next six weeks of attacks and counter attacks.

Love, Mom

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Puppy Conversations | De-Scarfing the Frog and Freezing Weather

Dear Kid,

Me: It’s freezing outside, put on your coat
Every Child That’s Every Lived In Our House: I’m fine.


Pi: What is the Puppy doing?
Me: I believe he is attempting open-heart surgery on his stuffed frog
Pi: Open-squeaker surgery?
Me: Right
Puppy: Must. Take. Scarf. Off. Frog.
A tug of war ensues
Puppy: I did it! I did it! I did it! The frog is scarf-free! The froggie is free!
Pi: Look at your toy. What a beautiful toy. Yes it is. Yes it is.
Puppy: Yes it is.
Pi: Yes it is. Can I see it? Bring it here.
Puppy: You want to see my wonderful squeaky frog?
Pi: That’s right, yes it is. Can I see it?
Puppy: Throw the frog Throw the frog Throw the frog Throw the frog Throw the WHAT? You put the scarf back on the frog.
Pi: Fetch!
Puppy: Froggie! Froggie! Froggie! Froggie!
Puppy: Must. Take. Scarf. Off. Frog.


Me: Let’s go for a walk
Puppy: Um, no
Me: Come on it’s walk time
Puppy: Um, no thank you
Me: What’s wrong?
Puppy: What’s wrong? Have you SEEN the weather report? It’s COLD
Me: Well, yes
Puppy: It’s colder than cold. It is beyond cold. That is no place for small dogs
Me: I understand it’s cold, but you need to go outside
Puppy: Nope. Waiting for spring


Puppy: Want to go home
Me: We just got outside
Puppy: I’m cold and I want to go home
Me: You have certain things to attend to first
Puppy: This is my miserable face
Me: This is my mom face
Puppy: I’m not happy about this
Me: I know


Puppy: S-s-s-s-so cold
Me: I know baby
Puppy: D-d-d-d-didn’t like the outside today
Me: I know, come here and let me help you warm up
Puppy: C-c-c-c-cold
Me: I know. Poor you
Puppy: P-p-p-poor me
Me: Yes baby
Puppy: Tomorrow will be better
Me: I’ve got bad news for you
Puppy: N-n-n-n-not happy
Me: I know


Stay warm, kiddo. And give the puppy extra snuggles today.

Love, Mom

For more puppy conversations see

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