Dear Kid,

Have you ever gone a while without talking to someone and then you pick up right where you left off, weeks, or months, or years earlier?

Recently, I met up with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. We had some serious catching up to do, but it was effortless, engaging, and endlessly entertaining. In other words, it was our friendship. The same as it had always been.

That’s the great thing about real friends. The friendship doesn’t disappear. Sometimes it fades for a while. Sometimes it lies dormant during a friendship winter. But it’s there, waiting for friendship spring, ready to blossom back.

Cheers to friends.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

It’s Best Friend Day—Happy BFD. Wait, that didn’t exactly sound right.

Best Friend Day brings up the question How Many Best Friends Can a Person Have?

The orthodox grammarians among us know that the answer is One! Only One! Are you kidding me? I can’t even believe we’re having this conversation. “Best” implies One!

The orthodox grammarians among us need to chill a little.

Amazingly, I have a rather tolerant stance on the subject of BFFs. I think a person can have (if they are sufficiently lucky) many BFFs. Because, like genres of TV, not all friends fall into the same category.

There is the Will Agree With Me No Matter What BFF, the Loves The Same Movies I Love BFF, the Will Force Me To Face The Issue BFF, the Workout BFF, the Tells Me The Truth BFF, the Likes Cool Video Games BFF, the Work BFF, the I Can Call In An Emergency BFF, the Out On The Town BFF, and – perhaps most importantly – the Puts Up With Me At My Worst BFF.

There are others, but I picked some of my faves in the interest of space.

If you are lucky, you have a friend who falls into more than one category (also known by friendship scientists everywhere as the Super BFF). If you are extremely lucky, you have a friend who falls into several categories (known as Ultra BFF).

Happy Best Friend Day! How will you and your bestie celebrate?

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Some people are energy-suckers. When you read one of their emails, talk to them on the phone, or (heaven forbid) meet them in person, you can feel your mental and physical energy drain. These encounters can leave you feeling like a pile of week-old lettuce. (You need a recovery plan for dealing with those people, but that is a different topic for a different day.)

Some people are energy-infusers. When you see that they’ve sent an email, you grin. When you finish talking to them on the phone, you want to do cartwheels (mentally if not physically). When you get to meet them in person (heaven be praised!), you feel energized enough to power the city lights for a week. Or more.

My friend Carla is one of the energy-infusers of the world. She’s amazing and I was lucky enough to grab some time with her last night (she’s in town for a few days and chose to spend some of her time with me–Yay!). Here’s a link to her website and her soon-to-be-published book. If you ever get a chance to hear her speak, go. Have a root canal planned? Cancel it. Graduation? Not as important. Exam? OK, go take the exam so you can graduate. But be sure to catch her next time.

We met for drinks at Carlo & Johnny (where they may have the best restrooms in southwest Ohio–the lighting in there is designed to make even the most tired of us look great). By the time she left for dinner, my brain was abuzz. Partly with all the fab things happening in her life (did I mention the book?) but partly because she makes me THINK.

Carla is an author, a speaker, and a coach. As a really good coach, she asks questions that require insight (hers) and introspection (the person she’s working with). Last night the person being asked to instrospect was me, and self-diagnosis is not one of the things I do really well. Not taking my B.S. is another one of the things Carla does really well.

So instead of just “getting together for drinks” (which would have been good), I left feeling like I could tackle the world and with homework assignments (which was even better).

I hope you have a friend like Carla who can totally make your day an A+. Gotta go do my homework now.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

I hope you had a great weekend. I know you were spending time with friends and that has a way of making a college weekend better than not spending time with friends.

I spent part of the weekend with friends too (even though I’m not in college).

The big news is that the amazing Girlfriendology is moving closer.

This has the dual advantage of having her not be as far away as well as having her be closer. See how that works out?

So I went over to their new house to help them move in (and by “help them move in” I mean get the grand tour, deliver toys for the puppy, and visit for a few minutes. I am a huge help to my friends.).

Wishing them many happy and healthy years in their new digs.

I also spent some time hanging out with Sue at her community pool before it closes for the season.

Sue’s pool has the distinct advantage of having shaded areas and Sue, so it is a good place to visit on occasion (and by “on occasion” I mean once a year or so). I’m not a huge hanger-outer-at-the-pool these days but it was good to spend some time catching up.

The thing about being friends is knowing when to be blindly loyal to a friend’s POV (Point of View—if you watched enough bad reality TV, you’d know that) and when to share your own.

Sometimes you get luck and they are one and the same.

Like, “There’s that girl with the perfect body and I don’t think she does anything to keep her looks. And she’s really sweet.” “Hate her.” “Exactly.”

It’s why Sue and I are friends.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

I’m off to meet a new friend for coffee this morning.

I love having new friends. I think—as I’ve gotten to this advanced age—that new friends are especially important as we get older.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the friends I’ve had forever. I treasure getting reconnected to them on social media and finding out that we’re living parallel lives in different parts of the country. I love knowing that I have friends that I can talk to in shorthand because they know all my nonsense and silliness and painful baggage.

But I also love having new friends. Finding new people who are doing interesting things in interesting ways and who I want to spend some of my free time getting to know better. Because these are the friends that will eventually know my nonsense and silliness and painful baggage and appreciate me from a different point of view.

Three cheers to different points of view, new friends, and a fresh cup of coffee.

Love, Mom