Posts Tagged "fitness"

The Truth About the Olympics

Dear Kid,

Well, it’s official. Usain Bolt is faster than you are. DearKidLoveMom.comWell, it’s official. Usain Bolt is faster than you are.

He’s also taller. And has his own pose.

Simone Biles is bouncier than you.

She’s also shorter. And her eye makeup is more sparkly.

Ryan Lochte is cooler than you. His response to being held up at gunpoint in Rio was (and I quote) “whatever”.

The American women play volleyball better than you do. Other American women play soccer better than you. Or maybe they don’t.

There are a bunch of people who fence better than you do (but not better than Inigo Montoya).

There are people in Brazil who have cried more than you over the last several days and people who have screamed more than you (mostly fans).

There are athletes who lift far more than two of you. And Michael Phelps is going to have to start lifting heavier weights to be able to carry around all his medals.

I love watching familiar and less familiar sports.

I miss sleep, but I love the Olympics.


Love, Mom

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What’s Really Going on with Fitbit

Dear Kid,

Thinking burns a lot of calories. For instance, how does the Fitbit tell the difference between sitting and watching bad reality TV (no effort) and sitting and contemplating bad reality TV (a great deal of effort)? Or gum chewing? How does the Fitbit account for the incredible number of calories I burn chomping on Trident? DearKidLoveMom.comHave I told you how much I love my Fitbit?

Not only is it purple (win!), and data-ful (win!), and mine (win! win!), it has encouraged me to make some small but important changes in my life.

For example, I now go to either the first or third floor to use the restroom (I work on the 2nd floor). Not only does this give me all those lovely extra steps (win!), I get an extra flight of stairs (win! win!) each time I have to pee.

Between my bladder (tiny) and my coffee habit (large), this has added an extra 1,000 steps a day to my step count which amounts to (exactly) 11.5 calories.

If I had taken the same amount of time to sit, Jabba-the-Hutt-like, I would only have burned 10.2 calories, so you can see how this is changing my waistline dramatically.

Not only am I bounding (gazelle-like) up the stairs, I’ve taken to walking through this door rather than that door on my way to the restroom. By taking this door, I add 27 steps (win!) and I walk right by the candy bowl (it would be rude not to help myself to a piece [or two] as I walk by).

So by becoming more fit I have gained 6 pounds, worn out three pairs of shoes, and developed a small but insistent blister on my left foot.

You might think I blame my Fitbit. But I don’t. Not at all.

Because it’s purple (win!).

Love, Mom

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Why Your Workouts Are Different than Mine | College Kid vs Mom

College kid workout is different than mom's--Why my workout is different than yoursDear Kid, 

As you know, I am fascinated by all things scientific especially if there are limited facts involved. Listening to you talk about your workouts for crew led me to extreme research on why things happen differently when I go to the gym and when you go to the gym. I am now ready to report my findings.


The Difference Between a Studly College Dude (you) and Mom (me) When Working Out. By Me.

You get ready to work out. Your brain snaps to attention, ready to go.

I get ready to work out. My brain just snaps.

You arrive at the gym, dressed and ready, and go straight to the machines.

I arrive at the gym, head to the locker room, pause to check voicemail, email (both accounts), and texts (nothing new in any of them). Change into workout clothes, check technology again (nada). Brush hair, consider whether to take a book or headphones with me, check technology, reply to one email, and finally head to the machines.

You get on the rower. Immediately, calories start running around your body, building muscle and throwing excess fat overboard in the most efficient way possible.

I get on the elliptical. Immediately, calories start dialing itty bitty cell phones reminding each other not to move and telling fat cells they are welcome to stay as long as they like and no one is being forced to become (ick) muscle if they don’t want to.

Five minutes into the workout you have burned 4,827 calories.

Five minutes into the workout I have burned 3 calories.

Twenty minutes into your workout you look like a sweating cross-fit champion.

Twenty minutes into my workout two trainers are discussing whether to call the paramedics.

End of the work out: you feel tired but great.

End of my workout: I’m wondering if I should accept the trainers’ offer to assist me back to the locker room.

For your next meal, you consume two pizzas, a portion of chicken lo mein, a side of broccoli, and a piece of apple pie.

For my next meal, I nibble three lettuce leaves and drink a glass of water.

Results for you: muscle growth and development and you’re back working out the next day.

Results for me: weight gain of 6 pounds and I won’t be able to move on my own for a week.

Enjoy your youth, kid.

Happy September

Love, Mom

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