Posts Tagged "ducks"

Puppy Conversations | Walking in Sharon Woods Park

Dear Kid,

We (Pi, the Puppy, and moi) had a lovely 2 mile walk in Sharon Woods Park yesterday. Parts of our time there were less walk-like than others.

Me: Keep moving, Puppy
Pi: He found something very interesting to sniff
Puppy: Busy
Me: Walking
Pi: Mom, it’s a very interesting blade of grass
Puppy: Busy
Me: This is supposed to be a walk, not a sniff
Puppy: Still busy

Pi: Let’s take him into the field and play
Me: Sure
Puppy: We’re leaving the path, this is exciting!
Pi: Look Puppy, I have a ball
Puppy: Hey, there’s an interesting blade of grass here!
Pi: Fetch (throws the ball)
Puppy: Look, there are people over there (runs toward the people)
Pi: No, you nut case, fetch the ball!
Puppy: Why?
Pi: I have treats
Puppy: I love treats! Coming!!
Pi: Bring the ball, you silly thing
Puppy: Want treats!!
Pi: The ball, go fetch
Me: (walking over to the ball) Look Puppy, here’s the ball!
Puppy: Huh? Just want treats!!
Me: Come here
Puppy: Do you have treats?
Pi: Bring me the ball
Puppy: This is a stupid way to get treats

Me: Come here, baby. Good boy, pick up the ball
Puppy: Really?
Me: Pick up the ball
Puppy: This is totally ridiculous
Me: Take
Puppy: Want a treat!
Pi: I don’t really think he wants to play
Me: You think?
Puppy: Treat!
Pi: Here you go
Puppy: Love treats!!! More!!
Pi: Ok, here’s another one
Puppy: Yummy!
Pi: I don’t think he’s very smart
Me: I think he taught you to give him treats for no reason. Seems pretty smart to me

Puppy: I love walks
Me: I’m really glad
Puppy: Gotta poop
Me: This is the third time you’ve pooped just on this walk
Puppy: It’s important

Puppy: Gotta pee
Me: You have nothing left inside your body to come out. There is nothing in there. You’ve pooped three times and peed fifty times
Lady Walking By: He’s not really here if he doesn’t leave a reminder (She is laughing her head off while she says this)
Me: Walk!
Pi: It’s hard to squeeze nothing out
Me: Walk!
Puppy: Busy
Pi: Oh look, there are ducks! Look Puppy, ducks!
Puppy: So?
Pi: Play with the ducks
Me: Keep him away from the geese
Geese: Hissssssssss
Pi: I don’t think geese like dogs
Me: What on earth made you think that?
Pi: I want him to play with the ducks
Me: You can want that all you like, but neither the Puppy nor the ducks seem interested
Puppy: Look how nicely I’m walking
Me: Now you walk nicely
Puppy: Yes, very nicely. Would you like to give me a treat?
Me: No, but thank you for offering
Pi: Look Puppy, ducks
Puppy: Yep, those are ducks. Not really interested
Pi: How can you not be interested? They are ducks!
Me: Look at the baby ducks! They are so cute
Puppy: I’m cute!
Me: The baby ducks are soooo cute
Puppy: You should probably give me a treat

Wish you’d been here to enjoy the walk with us.

Love, Mom

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The End of the World, Matching Socks, and It Is Time to Duck

mismatch socks different colors dear kid love momDear Kid,

Prepare for the end of the world. Don’t stop going to classes until we’re absolutely sure The End is here, but be on the lookout for Events of the Unforeseen Kind. You might need to sit down for this.

As you know, your sister does not wear matching socks, unless required during an official match of whatever sport she’s involved with at the particular moment. I don’t really remember a time when she voluntarily wore socks that matched. Pi says the whole miss-match thing can be traced to Annie “It is time…to duck” (see note)–remind me to have a word with Annie about her Influence on Small Children. In any event, Pi believes in colorful, creative, and non-matching socks.

Tonight, she forgot to see what socks she had in her soccer bag. When she got to practice she discovered she only had her game socks and would have to wear (are you sitting down Oh Best Beloved?) two identical socks. I suggested she turn one inside out, but apparently because of the way the socks are made that would cause technical difficulties. Then I suggested she tuck grass into one (a sort of sock hula skirt). She rolled her eyes (but not until she’d giggled a little).

Speaking of ducks (ok, different kind of duck), did you know there are more than 40 breeds of domestic duck? Most male ducks are silent and very few ducks actually “quack.” Instead, their calls may include squeaks, grunts, groans, chirps, whistles, brays, and growls. (Big deal. Sounds like most males I know.) Do you know what you call a group of ducks? A raft, team, or paddling. I kid you not. Who thinks of these things? A paddling of braying of ducks. (Seriously? Braying? Perhaps someone confused some the animals on the farm? I don’t know. But I’m pretty sure they are more sleep deprived than most of us.)


No practice. We left the field, and the offending socks have been removed. We agreed that the reason there was no practice was because of the matchingness of the socks. Crisis averted.

Guess you’re going to have to go to class after all.

Love, Mom

Note: In case you don’t remember, although I’m sure you do: one of the best Annie stories was the one about when she was traveling in the country of East I-can’t-remember-where on a train with some of the locals. They were having a grand old time. At one point, one of her companions said, “It is time…to duck.” Apparently, there were outlaws in the area who regularly shot at the train at that particular point. They all ducked, the outlaws shot, no one was injured, and the trip went on.

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