Posts Tagged "drink"

The London Beer Flood (Really)

Dear Kid,

IF you had been alive and aware on Oct 17, 1814, and IF you happened to have found yourself in England, and IF by chance you were wandering around London (more specifically the parish of St. Giles), you might have witnessed the London Beer Flood. I kid you not.

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. -- Archie Bunker, DearKidLoveMom.comOn October 17, 1814, an enormous (and by enormous I mean 610,000 liters) vat full of beer broke. This in and of itself would have been sad and tragic. However, in the tradition of beer-related chain reaction events, other vats collapsed under the onslaught of beer and breakage, and almost a million and a half liters (1,470,000 liters to be more specific) burst their containers and erupted into the surrounding area.

The alcoholic tsunami wiped away two homes, washed out the wall of the Tavistock Arms Pub, swamped several streets, filled several basements and first floor rooms, interrupted a wake, and then set up a fuss because the international media didn’t interrupt coverage of the events of the day to set up 24 hour reports.

Rock and Roll artists didn’t even hold a fundraiser for the beer-diseased and displaced. All in all, the tsunami thought it was severely underrepresented.

Eight people died in the flood (none of them were college students who would have known how to drink their way out of beer-flooded environments).

A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it's better to be thoroughly sure.-- Czech Proverb, DearKidLoveMom.comThe brewery was sued over the accident, but the judge and jury (who were plied heavily with the product in question) remained sober just long enough to rule the disaster an Act of God. God never weighed in on the decision, but hinted strongly in tabloids that there was human corruption and neglect involved. Since it was 1814, and since this was a really poor part of town, no one looked into the incident to carefully until recently when the beer tsunami memoires surfaced and we learned just how upset a tsunami can be.

Love, Mom

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7 Steps to Drinking Wine Properly

Dear Kid,

It’s National Wine Day.

Happy National Wine Day! DearKidLoveMom.comI can’t believe it’s taken this long to get here, and I – What? Not National Whine Day? Oh. Dang.

National Wine Day is (duh) a great way to celebrate the grape. Preferably fermented.

One day, if these grapes behave, they might grow up to be wine! Happy National Wine Day!

So a Wine Drinking Lesson seems in order.


The first step is acquiring wine. Sometimes this is as easy as going to your parents’ refrigerator and borrowing a bottle. Sometimes it involves asking a waiter to kindly bring you a glass. Occasionally it involves going to a store and making a purchase. In the best of all possible cases, it means several friends each brought some wine to your place.


Once you have acquired said vino, store it properly. Most of the time that means in a wine glass. Occasionally it means white wine in the frig, red wine on the counter.


Remember the importance of glasses? Of course you do. The most important thing for college students to know about the right wine glass is to find one that isn’t chipped. For the rest of the world, red wine glasses are generally larger than white wine glasses (the better to allow the red wine to oxidize).


Sniff the wine to enjoy the aroma and prepare the palate. Do not sniff like you’re trying to find a dead rat. Especially if no one else in your crowd is a sophisticated wine drinker.


Take a sip. Take a swallow. Nod sagely. Do not smack your lips. Do not chug your mug. Take another sip. Try a delicate bite of cheese. Sip. Nod. Nibble. Sip. Sip. Aw, heck, drink.


Refill. Try another kind of wine because no one brought the same kind to the party.


It is important to store any leftover wine properly. Leftover wine. That’s funny, right?

Happy National Wine Day!

Happy National Wine Day.

Love, Mom

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Have a Drink (You’re Going to Need It When You Hear About This App)

Dear Kid,

The world has now officially come to the end of its technological rationality.

Many people think that happened a long time ago, but I can now officially (and by “officially” I mean I’m saying it) report that the technology world has gone on-beyond, way beyond, beyond beyond rationality.

It seems not everyone is a certified mixologist and – wait for it – there’s an app for that. At least there will be in June.

Not an app where you can look up whatever drink you want and get the recipe; no, that might make sense. And probably already exists.

An app that talks to your liquor bottles to make drinks? Seriously? DearKidLoveMom.comCreated by a new company called Bernooli (here’s the article), this new app talks to your liquor bottles. Think more silent R2D2 rather than C3PO, but there is communication.

The idea is that you get the free app and then buy the kits. You need smart spouts which live on your bottles and communicate with the app.

Want to make a drink? Tell the app, and the bottles will light up, in the correct order, and measure the amount you’re supposed to use as you pour.

Before you race out and spend your hard earned pennies, be aware that the smart spouts aren’t going to be available until December, that they aren’t cheap, and that they don’t come with a bartender to talk to.


Love, Mom

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