Posts Tagged "dog"

April 1, 2016

Puppy Conversations | Spring Rains and a New Pig

Dear Kid,

Me: Coffee, I need coffee.
Puppy: Let’s go for a walk.
Me: It’s raining. You hate rain.
Puppy: Let’s go for a walk.
Me: I really, really need coffee.
Puppy: Let’s take the coffee for a walk.
Me: You hate the rain. Or did I say that already?
Puppy: I don’t hate the rain. I love the rain.
Me: Who are you and what have you done with the dog that lives here?
Puppy: Don’t you think it would be a great idea?
Me: Coffee working faster would be a great idea.
Puppy: Comeoncomeoncomeon.
Me: Fine. We’ll go for a walk. But you won’t be happy about it.
Puppy: What are you talking about? I love walks.
Me: Okey dokey kiddo. Let’s go.
Puppy: In that rain? Are you kidding?

 

I have a new pink pig and I LOVE him! DearKidLoveMom.com/PuppyConversationsMe: Come on, you, it is time to go for a walk.
Puppy: I’ll melt!
Me: You will not melt. You will walk.
Puppy: But I can’t go.
Me: You can’t?
Puppy: No. I can’t. I have to stay here with my new pink Pig.
Me: Your pig will wait.
Puppy: You don’t know very much about pigs, do you?

Love, Mom

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March 17, 2016

Puppy Conversations | Puppy Needs a Pet

Dear Kid,

Are you the pet or am I the pet? DearKidLoveMom.comPuppy: Mom. We need to talk.
Me: Please. Go right ahead.
Puppy: I need a pet.
Me: You what?
Puppy: I need a pet.
Me: You are a pet.
Puppy: Don’t be silly. I are a people.
Me: So explain this pet thing to me.
Puppy: Did you see the video of all the animals snuggling?
Me: Yes.
Puppy: I think we should get some.
Me: Some?!
Puppy: Well, you have to have two to snuggle. You and me. They and them.
Me: What kind of pet were you thinking about?
Puppy: There are different kinds?
Me: Lots of different kinds.
Puppy: We should get a good kind.
Me: You know pets are a lot of work, don’t you?
Puppy: What do you mean “work”?
Me: You have to take care of a pet. You have to walk them and feed them and brush them and all sorts of things.
Puppy: No problem. You’re very good at those things.
Me: Thank you, but you may have missed the point.
Puppy: So when are we getting me a pet?

Love, Mom

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March 3, 2016

You Won’t Believe What Today Is

Dear Kid,

You are not going to believe what today is.

I don't need thumbs to tell you I love you. Happy If Your Pet Had Thumbs Day. DearKidLoveMom.comHappy If Your Pet Had Thumbs Day! (Seriously.)

I took a highly scientific poll to find out what people thought their pets would do if they had thumbs.

The top responses I made up were

  • Huh?
  • I don’t know, maybe suck his thumb?
  • Where would a snake put a thumb?
  • Text, no question.
  • Serve herself more food. All day long.
  • Where do you come up with these things?

I asked the Puppy what he would do if he had thumbs. He stared at me for a minute, wagged his happy tail, and licked my feet. I thought he showed great restraint in not answering the question.

Happy If Your Pet Had Thumbs Day. (Feel free to enjoy your own thumbs today too.)

Love, Mom

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March 2, 2016

Puppy Conversations | Finding the Chipmunk. Or Moose.

Dear Kid,

Bob the Chipmunk (I named him) has been hibernating in our garage. Turns out our garage is an excellent place for hibernating (warm-ish, dry-ish, mostly predator-free, and you don’t have to build it yourself) until the Puppy gets a snout-full of your scent.

Bob is a dumb name for a moose. DearKidLoveMom.com/PuppyConversationsWhich happened this morning.

Me: Are you ready to go for a walk?
Puppy: Of course! I love walks!
Me: Okey dokey.
Puppy: Here we—wait! I smell a moose!
Bob the Chipmunk: Wheek! (I don’t speak chipmunk very well.)
Me: We don’t have any moose here.
Puppy: I want to be friends with the moose!
Me: I’m sure all the moose in our garage want to be friends with you too. The chipmunk, not so much.
Bob: Wheek!
Me: Where are you going?
Puppy: Got to find the moose!
Me: I’m pretty sure there are no moose under the car.
Puppy: There might be! If I sniff hard enough.
Me: I don’t think you know what a moose smells like.
Puppy: My nose knows. Don’t argue with the nose.
Bob: Wheek! (Bob is apparently not much of a conversationalist.)
Puppy: Checking under the other car!
Me: Let me guess, still no Bob?
Puppy: Bob? You named him Bob?
Me: Move it, Furry One.
Puppy: Hunting! Very. Important. Hunting.
Me: Puppy! Time to go for a walk!
Puppy: Huh?
Me: Now.
Puppy: Oh. OK! I love walks.
Bob: Wheek!

Love, Mom

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February 22, 2016

Walking the Dog Day & International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day | Puppy Conversations

Dear Kid,

It's Walking the Dog Day and tomorrow is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day! Can life GET any better? DearKidLoveMom.com/PuppyConversationsPuppy: Mom!
Me: Yes, baby?
Puppy: I don’t think you’re paying attention.
Me: Just so I’m clear, paying attention to who?
Puppy: Not a who, a what.
Me: And what is it I’m not paying attention to?
Puppy: The calendar.
Me: Why does the calendar need paying attention to? It’s usually you who needs attention.
Puppy: I’m a who, not a what.
Me: Absolutely. But let’s go back. What about the calendar?
Puppy: Don’t you know what today is?
Me: Monday?
Puppy: Pay. Attention!
Me: I thought I was. What are you talking about?
Puppy: It is Walking the Dog Day!
Me: You get walked every day.
Puppy: Yes, but there is a Day for it!
Me: Uh-huh.
Puppy: But that’s not all.
Me: It’s not? Silly me. What else?
Puppy: Tomorrow.
Me: Tuesday.
Puppy: Pay attention! Tomorrow is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day!
Me: You appreciate all food all the time.
Puppy: Yes, but there’s a Day for it.
Me: So you said.
Puppy: So….
Me: So?
Puppy: So we should practice.
Me: You lost me there. Practice what?
Puppy: Walking and eating treats!
Me: Ah.
Puppy: Do I have to explain everything?
Me: Apparently. Would you like to go for a walk?
Puppy: I thought you’d never ask. Will there be a treat at the end?
Me: Don’t push your luck, kiddo.
Puppy: I’m so excited!

Love, Mom

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