Dear Kid,

Sometimes blog inspiration arrives in a burst. Sometimes it arrives by carrier pigeon. Sometimes it doesn’t really arrive at all. And sometimes it arrives in the form of the word “magnanimous.”

Last night, when Pi and Tal got home, they (and by “they” I mean Pi) bellowed upstairs. “Hi, Mom!!! Tal and I were thinking that if you were feeling magnanimous, you might want to make us dessert.” “What kind of dessert?” “Whatever you feel like making.” “Be down in a minute.”

Tal asked, “What is this word ‘mag, maj, mananim’?”

Whereupon we set out to teach her the word “magnanimous” to much giggling. It’s a fun word to teach to someone who does not speak English as a first language. To her credit, she learned it really quickly.

Since I was feeling rather magnanimous, I decided to make bananas foster. My way, not the way it’s supposed to be made.

Here are both recipes for your edification.

Bananas Foster (version Mom and version Alton Brown)

Before I continue, let me point out that I think Alton Brown is the Chief Chef, the cherry on the sundae, the Most Amazing Food Person In Our Time. So obviously his version is Right. My version is just what gets made in our house.

Let me also point out that Minions Love Bananas. And doesn’t that just make my little heart happy?

Alton: Melt 2 tablespoons unsalted butter in a 10-inch heavy skillet over low heat.

Mom: Find non-stick pan. Move the drying pots off the stove so there is room to work. Turn up the heat to Reasonably High and melt a bunch of vegan butter (what with Pi not doing cow at the moment). Encourage the vegan butter to get on with melting. Put a tortilla in the pan to brown on both sides. Decide you’re not going to wait for any of this browning nonsense and settle for warming it up. Remove warm, buttery tortilla to a plate. Add more butter stuff to melt.

Alton: Add 1/4 cup dark brown sugar, 1/4 teaspoon ground allspice, and 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg and stir until sugar dissolves.

Mom: Add about-that-much brown sugar and stir. After reading Alton’s recipe (we’re good friends, so I can call him by his first name) decide cinnamon, allspice, and nutmeg might be a good addition next time. Laugh mightily at the idea of grinding fresh nutmeg.

Alton: Add 1 tablespoon banana liqueur and bring sauce to simmer. Add 2 under ripe bananas, sliced in half lengthwise and cook for 1 minute on each side, carefully spooning sauce over bananas as they are cooking.

Mom: Trip over the puppy trying to get the bananas. Giggle as puppy looks expectantly at the bananas. Giggle harder as puppy stares hard enough at the bananas to get them to jump out of their skins voluntarily. Peel and slice bananas into rounds (“coins” as Dad calls them). Share 2 pieces with a grateful dog. Put the bananas in the pan and stir. Laugh at the notion of being careful while doing this.

Alton: Remove bananas from pan to a serving dish. Bring sauce to a simmer and carefully add 1/4 cup dark rum. If the sauce is very hot, the alcohol will flame on its own. If not, using stick flame, carefully ignite and continue cooking until flame dies out, approximately 1 to 2 minutes. If sauce is too thin, cook for 1 to 2 minutes until it is syrupy in consistency. Add 1/2 teaspoon finely grated orange zest and stir to combine. Immediately spoon the sauce over bananas and serve. Serve with waffles, crepes, or ice cream.

Mom: Spoon most of the banana/brown sugar yumminess over half the tortilla. Fold tortilla over and spoon the rest on top. Cut in half if you are serving to two people (which you would only do if you don’t have enough ingredients to make two whole servings. Which reminds me, we need to get more tortillas, bananas, and brown sugar.).

NOTE: If you are me, do not even consider the whole “light on fire” thing since it would doubtless turn into a “light the entire kitchen on fire” thing. And while we do have a fire extinguisher (never used, I’m glad to point out), I don’t think foam is a good addition to this particular dessert.

Serve to incredibly happy teenagers.

Hope you have a sweet day, kiddo.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Big news. You might want to sit down.

We’re halfway through the week, and I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned that this is American Chocolate Week. Yup, you heard me. An entire week devoted to chocolate. (Hear that sound? That’s Grandma saying “yippee!”)

Eating ⅓ of a chocolate bar every day may reduce the risk of death 50%. Not clear what size chocolate bar so you’d best go big to be sure.

Here’s the really, really good news: you can participate and not feel guilty. Two reasons:

1. Did you note that it’s “American” Chocolate Week? As far as I can figure, that means that as an American you are practically OBLIGATED to partake in celebration.

2. Chocolate is good for you. Not only does it make your mouth happy (and a happy mouth is a polite mouth), and not only does it contain antioxidants, but I just learned it contains chemicals that are good for you. (Chemistry majors, take note.)

Anandamide–This lovely chemical makes you happy. It also in inhibits human breast cancer cell proliferation. That is a pretty nice combination and moves this to one of my favorite chemicals that I can’t pronounce.

Phenylethylamine–Another chemical I can’t pronounce, but I do know phenylethylamine makes you slightly more alert and gives you the feeling of love. Unfortunately, it is metabolized very quickly, which is (of course) why we eat more chocolate.

Theobromine–Theobromine doesn’t contain bromine. It’s a nifty diuretic and encourages blood vessels to widen. It’s probably what makes chocolate an aphrodisiac and it may also cause chocolate addiction (not that chocolate addiction is exactly a bad thing). It’s definitely what makes chocolate poisonous to dogs (and cats, but cats generally snub chocolate since they don’t have sweet taste receptors).

So whether you head for M&Ms or brownies or a Triple Huge Mocha Latte something-or-other, be sure to include a short toast to American Chocolate Week.

Huzzah.

Love, Mom

Mortar Boards the way the world sees them

Dear Kid,

Once upon a time, you were born. Since then, it’s been a series of graduations. You graduated from pre-school, you graduated from Kindergarten, you graduated from training wheels (although there were fewer attendees for that one). We sat through (fairly short) speeches. We clapped politely for other graduates. We cheered for you. And we celebrated. Often with fabulous, age-appropriate desserts.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success. ~Robert Orben

It is time to plan the next graduation celebration. I’ve been thinking about it. I suspect the speeches will be longer, the cheering more exuberant. I’m pretty sure we will need fabulous, age-appropriate desserts.

Mortar Boards the way Pinterest sees them

Fortunately, there is help for me (yeah, yeah, not enough. I get it.) Pinterest is brimming with graduation-themed pins. Party ideas, cap decorating ideas, party decorating ideas, and food ideas. I love Pinterest and plan to steal borrow pay homage to at least a few of these ideas. That is, if I can pry myself away from Pinterest long enough to actually do anything.

The candy idea got me thinking about mortar boards. Who came up with this particular look as being a great fashion option? I still don’t know because everything that I looked at about mortar boards was serious and boring. Not my fave combination. I can’t find anything even mildly amusing about mortar boards. I looked. I thought there would be a treasure trove of hilarity out there. Nope. Nada.

Graduation: a ritual event where they award you a diploma, in the hope that you will have learned enough to be able to read it.

The only mildly funny thing (which really isn’t all that funny, imho) is that the color for business school tassels is “drab.” That is the name of the color, not some wisecracking description of the color.

Now before anyone gets all bent out of shape let me point out that both of my tassels are (shudder) drab. I discovered this when we were getting ready to graduate from Boston University (Go Terriers). There it was, a tassel labeled “Drab.” Who came up with this color?! Seriously?? We have marketing people, we have creative people, we have people who sit around and think up fabulous names for nail polish and paint, and the best someone could come up with for the tassel for business school is “drab.” Even saying the word sounds unhappy.

Drab. I kid you not.

Sigh. Not that the color of a tassel is any reason to pick a field of study. It’s not. Not at all. Still, if things work out so that the tassel is pretty…

Have a very un-drab day, Kid.

Love, Mom