Dear Kid,

Last night was a wonderful night. Not only did we go see Holiday in Lights in Sharon Woods (right before it closed for the season), we finally got to see the Minion Movie.

(Yes, you’d seen it before, but I hadn’t and isn’t that what this is all about?)

My two Most Wonderful Children arranged for us to watch the Minion Movie as a (very) early birthday present for me.

I have great kids.

And I am so thrilled with having seen the movie that I am providing you Fantastic Facts About Minions:

1. In Despicable Me, the Minions’ teeth are slightly crooked, while in Despicable Me 2, they are aligned. Orthodontists all over the world are thrilled.
2. There are only 5 natural hairstyles for Minions in the Despicable Me films, including bald. Hairstylists all over the world are suggesting options.
3. Minions have only three fingers. More digits might be fatal. To someone. Probably not a Minion.
4. Minions speak a mixture of Spanish, English, French, and Italian, with bit of Russian and Korean sprinkled in. Each word in Minion has an exact translation. So far, Minion (the language) cannot be taken for college credit.
5. The evil Minions are purple because purple and yellow are on opposite sides of the color spectrum. Graphic designers all over the world figured that out before the rest of us.
6. The average Minion stands at 105cm in height. But there is a pretty dang significant height differential among Minions and we don’t tolerate short jokes at DearKidLoveMom (unless they are really, really funny).
7. Cool Minion Fact: Bob suffers from heterochromia iridum, making his eyes two different colors. He’s adorable no matter what color his eyes are.
8. Cooler Minion Fact: The British Royal Crown from Bob’s “coronation” can briefly be seen in Despicable Me when the Minions all offer treasures to help fund Gru’s attempt to steal the moon.
9. Coolest Minion Fact: Kevin, Stuart, and Bob were designed to resemble Gru’s daughters (Margo, Agnes, and Edith).
10. Best Minion Fact: There is a 3^rd Despicable Me movie coming! Guess what I’ll be doing in 2017?

Thank you again for a fabulous evening.

Banana!

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Overheard randomly at work.

Coworker A: I thought about spontaneously buying a house this weekend
Coworker B: What?!
Coworker A: Yep.
Coworker B: When I want to spontaneously buy something, I get Tic Tacs, not a house!

Speaking of Tic Tacs, there are now Minion Tic Tacs. Please do NOT buy them for me, but I think it is hilarious that they exist. Guess what flavor? Banana! Shout out to friend Crystal who dropped everything to let me know about the commercial for them.

Speaking of Things Not to Buy for Me and Tic Tacs, did you know there are also pizza flavored Tic Tacs? I have no idea why, but there are. At least according to the images on Google. (I couldn’t find any reference to pizza flavors on the Tic Tac website.)

Turns out the Tic Tac people (who are not paying me to write this post, but probably should be) have a sense of humor. For example, their description of Wintermint Tic Tacs says that they checked with the corporate lawyers who are fine with people enjoying wintermint during all the seasons.

Happy Monday!

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

You, my darling, may be the most wonderful BoyChild ever. As in Of All Time.

I generally feel this way about you, but last night you proved your wonderfulness Beyond A Shadow of Doubt. You alerted me to The News that there will be a Minion movie next summer.

I am (as you may have guessed) Beyond Excited. Banana (just getting in the mood).

As you probably assumed I would, I looked up the History of Minions.

Minions are more adorable than smart. They are more yellow than smart. And they are more loyal than smart. But they are So Darn Cute!

Minions have existed since the beginning of time. Their Purpose is to serve the most Seriously Ambitious Villain available. They have (had?) an unfortunate habit of loving and serving their master to death (say goodbye to Genghis Khan, Dracula, and Napoleon). Fast forward to the 1960s when Kevin decides they can no longer survive without a master and he, Stuart, and Bob set out to find a villain.

Which they find at a villain convention (that is so perfect!). I am trying to type this while rolling around on the floor howling with laughter.

This should make you laugh too. Or at least smile. (Be sure your sound is on.)

Want to go to the movies with me next summer? I’m buying the popcorn.

Love, Mom