Posts Tagged "dance"

10 Things You Must Know for a Great Homecoming

Dear Kid,

Once upon a time, Joe Neanderthal went out with his buddies to go hunting. Being Neanderthals, they didn’t have the option of going to the nearby store and picking up dinner on their way home so they had to stay out hunting until they actually caught something. In the interim there were lots of stories about the mammoth that got away and whether or not the saber-tooth squirrels were looking especially furry that year.

Eventually the Neanderthals clunked something over the head and dragged it home to their various spouses. Mrs. Joe Neanderthal was of the opinion that Joe had taken rather longer than was necessary and therefore clunked him over the head. Fortunately, Joe was extremely hard headed and just staggered around a while until he felt like himself. This is generally considered the First Homecoming.

Homecoming means football, festivities, and friendship. dearKidLoveMom.comIn modern times, the first homecoming was in 1911 at the University of Missouri. There are some disputes about which college held the first homecoming. But since the Most Important Authorities in the Land (by which I mean Jeopardy!, Trivial Pursuit, and NCIS) all say it was Missouri, I think we can agree it was Missouri. Anyone who wants to argue with Alex and/or Gibbs is on their own as far as I’m concerned.

Here is a recipe for a successful Homecoming:

  1. Arrange for clear weather. Downpours, drizzles, squalls, tornadoes, and flurries tend to put a damper (get it? Ha!) on the activities.
  2. Participate in spirit week. If you’re a high schooler, roll your eyes but participate anyway. Be especially annoyed about “Denim Day.”
  3. Agonize about a date to the Homecoming Dance. Once the “who” is settled, agonize about the “what to wear,” the “who else is in the group,” the “where to take pictures,” the “where to have dinner,” and any other details you can think of.
  4. If you’re in Texas, include mums. And by “mums” I mean huge, over decorated concoctions. I’m not from Texas so I don’t really get it, but I have it on good authority that mums are a critical part of homecoming in the Lone Star State.
  5. Have a parade and a pep rally. Not necessarily at the same time, but when one rolls into the other, it’s a nice touch.
  6. Tailgating is considered by many to be a mandatory part of the weekend.
  7. Crown the court. It is more interesting if you know the crownees, if someone falls off the risers during the crowing, or if they try to crown a band member who’s still wearing a marching band hat.
  8. Win the football game. This is a considerably better option than losing the football game.
  9. Enjoy the homecoming dance. Attendance is not a guarantee of enjoyment, but it is a prerequisite. There will be pre-dinner photos. Deal with it and smile.
  10. Tell your mother everything. Telling All does not guarantee a peaceful existence, but it is likely to cut way down on the Annoying Mom Questions.

Happy Homecoming! Whether you’re coming home for it or not.

Love, Mom

Homecoming Part II tomorrow. Probably.

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The Nutcracker, Ruining Swan Lake, and Other Pointe-y News

Dear Kid,

The Nutcracker is unlike any other ballet. So Sayeth Thy Uncle David many years ago. As I recall, I was kind of a twit when he told me this but I have remembered his words which might slightly offset the twittness.

The point is that this time of year pretty much every ballet company puts on The Nutcracker and combines fun music, excellent dancing, and adorable children with holiday delight for a fundraising grand slam (to mix a metaphor or two). Aunt Florence wanted to be the one to take you to see The Nutcracker for the first time. Unfortunately, that never happened. But when I think of The Nutcracker, I think of Aunt Florence.

I will pointe out (dancing on pointe, get it?) that there are other ballets in addition to The Nutcracker, and you probably know the music from several of them. But since you have a rotten mother, I don’t think you’ve ever attended a live ballet.

One lovely ballet is Swan Lake. It is the story about many ballerinas on a stage. Being the kind of mother I am, I am about to ruin Swan Lake for you. Nothing you can ever hope to see can live up to this. (Ever seen ballet with a spotter before? I thought not.) It’s 7 minutes or so, which I realize is a ridiculously long time for someone of your generation, but trust me–this is worth it. And I happen to know you have some free time on your hands today.

Happy Today,

Love, Mom

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