Posts Tagged "conversations"

Puppy Conversations | Puppy as Alarm Clock

Dear Kid,

Last night Dad and I were talking about what we wanted to do this weekend.

Dad: So we’ll get up in the morning while it’s cool and weed and plant some of the plants in containers.
Me: Wake me and I’ll kill you.

The Alarm Clock and I discuss appriopriate morning behavior. DearKidLoveMom.comDad laughed. But he didn’t argue.

This morning at 6:59 I was sleeping happily. If I recall correctly I was dreaming about clothing—really interesting spring suits, I believe.

At 7am:

Puppy: Woof! Woof woof woof!
Puppy: Woof woof woof!
Me: Mmrph.
Dad: ZZZZZZZZZ
Puppy: Woof woof woof woof woof woof ARF! ARF!ARF!ARF!
Me: Seriously?

I got up and went downstairs.

Puppy: Hi! You’re here! That’s great!
Me: What was all that about?
Puppy: What?
Me: All the barking. What was that about?
Puppy: What?
Me: You woke me up.
Puppy: What?
Puppy: Hey, you’re here. That’s great!
Me: Good morning, sweet thing.

Maybe later he’ll tell me. Right now, he’s not talking.

Me to Dad: How much did you pay him?

Dad laughed. But he didn’t argue.

Love, Mom

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Puppy Conversations | Shedding and Purple Fur

Dear Kid,

Puppy: What’s a shed?
Me: It’s a small building usually for storing things.
Puppy: Things like toys?
Me: I suppose you could store toys in a shed. Usually people put things like tools or cars there.
Puppy: Oh Good!
Me: Why?
Puppy: I’m not a shed.
Me: What do you mean?
Puppy: Daddy said I was a shed.
Daddy: I said you were shed-ding.
Puppy: There’s a bell in the shed?
Me: There’s no bell.
Puppy: Let’s go on a walk to the shed.
Me: There’s no shed.
Puppy: But Daddy said there’s a shed.
Me: Shed can also mean that your fur is falling out.
Puppy: My WHAT?! I LOVE my fur.
Me: Yes, of course you love your fur.
Puppy: Get the GLUE! I have to hold on to my fur! Call the medics!!
Me: Some shedding is normal, honey.
Puppy: But if I lose my fur, I’ll be naked!
Me: What do you think is under your fur right now?
Puppy: This is so embarrassing.
Me: When you lose fur, it makes room for new fur to grow.
Puppy: I get new fur?
Me: All the time.
Puppy: I think I’ll grow purple fur this time.
Me: That will be interesting.
Puppy: After my nap.
Me: Of course.

Love, Mom

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Puppy Conversations | Getting Cleaned Up

Dear Kid,

Me: Come on you. Let’s get you brushed.
Puppy: I like being brushed.
Me: I know. Come on outside.
Puppy: This feels great.
Me: It might even feel better if you stopped squirming.
Puppy: Why are we doing this?
Me: Because you shed. So we’re brushing off fur you’re done with.
Puppy: But you still need it, right?
Me: Huh? What do you mean?
Puppy: You’re brushing the fur off me and on to you. So you need it.
Me: I am rather covered in fur.
Puppy: It looks very nice.
Me: It looks like I’m changing clothes when we go inside.
Puppy: Take good care of my fur. I might want it back some day.

Puppy: I look gorgeous. DearKidLoveMom.com/PuppyConversationsPuppy: Don’t want to.
Me: You have to get trimmed.
Puppy: Don’t. Want. To.
Me: It’s not really one of the things you have a choice about. Hold still.
Puppy: It hurts! It hurts!
Me: Getting your fur trimmed does not hurt.
Puppy: It hurts! I’m going to die! Call the EMT! Call Animal Cruelty!
Me: You’re being groomed not garroted. Calm down, silly.
Puppy: It’s awful! All my fur is being taken away. It’s insulting! It’s embarrassing! I’m in pain!
Me: You know we have this conversation every time.
Puppy: I’m filing a complaint!
Me: OK. All done.
Puppy: I look gorgeous.
Me: Yep.
Puppy: And it really didn’t hurt at all.
Me: And the conversation ends the same way every time.
Puppy: With a treat?

Love, Mom

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Dart Wars | Week 2 Is Here!

Dear Kid,

Dart Wars is a Big Freakin’ Deal here. I know this because teenagers are actually using their cell phones to have conversations. Talking conversations, not just texting. DearKidLoveMom.comWelcome to Week 2 of Dart Wars.

As a reminder, Dart Wars is a Big Freakin’ Deal here. I know this because teenagers are actually using their cell phones to have conversations. Talking conversations, not just texting.

I know. Shocking. Who would have thought?

Dart Wars involves teams (of up to 5 players and a sub) using Nerf guns to shoot players on an opposing team. No shooting on school property. No causing anyone to be late for school. No shooting at work. No breaking into homes (although you can shoot through an open door—or be invited in). Each series goes from midnight (12:01am) Monday morning to midnight (11:59pm) Friday night. Unless there’s a tie in which case there’s a shootout on Saturday.

Dart Wars also involves high emotion, unfettered outrage, brownies, yelling, middle of the night forays into enemy territory, stakeouts, cookies, strategy discussions to rival Pentagon briefings, hiding, caffeine, Twitter taunts, overuse of the garage door, and exhaustion.

Teams have to buy in to play Dart Wars. After Week One, losing teams have the option of buying in again to stay alive and continue playing. I believe after this week, elimination is permanent.

Pi’s team is still alive and in play, after a victorious Week 1 (they had 2 kills [it should have been more but the judges ruled against them]) and no one their team was shot.

Victory! Triumph! On to Week 2!

Love, Mom

 

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