I’ve been thinking we should have turkey tryouts.
It seems to me that most positions require an interview, an audition, or a tryout of some variety. Can you imagine signing up a major league football quarterback without ever seeing him play but just because he has good packaging? (That didn’t come out quite the way I meant it.)
Or hiring a CEO without knowing what he or she had accomplished in the past and making the decision just because the recruiter promises the perfect candidate?
Or casting an episode of NCIS without seeing the guest star act but just relying on an agent’s description?
It would never happen.
Here is my idea for turkey tryouts.
There will be three categories of competition (within each weight class).
Beauty: Turkeys will parade in the plumage of their choice
Talent: This is the time for turkeys to strut their stuff
Interview: Questions about grubs v grain, should the national bird be changed, etc
And the winner, I mean the loser, gets to join us for dinner!
All of which sounds great until I think about actually getting to know the Dish of the Day (as Douglas Adams would say) at which point I start searching for vegan Thanksgiving recipes.
Maybe we’ll just stick with buying a frozen bird.