Dear Kid,

Shopping for college is an endurance sport and I have just completed a double marathon.

You were there too, but you are young and strong and for the most part not paying. Picking up the bills should qualify me for a spot on the Olympic weight lifting team.

Linens? Check. Laptop? Check. Shampoo? Check. Beanbag chair, memo board, iHome? Check, check, and check.

And by “check,” I mean that I wrote a lot of them.

In truth, we were wildly efficient and while we certainly did our share to stimulate the economy in southwest Ohio (yes Carley, southWEST), we didn’t spend anything like the national debt of a small country. Score one for making lists, checking them twice, and shopping for bargains.

Extra points to Pi for cheerfully managing the lists.

And a big Thank You to Grandma for finding you the perfect sewing kit so we didn’t have to look for one. (And a small growl in your direction for not telling me about the sewing kit until I found it by accident as we were organizing our purchases.)

Important Item to Add to Your ToDo List: please arrange for good (or at least decent) weather the day of move-in. Unloading everything during a monsoon, snow storm, even a moderate drizzle will add considerably to the stress and I-may-have-to-kill-someone factor.

I can’t get over how exhausting orientation was. In a good way, but exhausting. It wasn’t that we were staying up half the night at some over-the-top parent reception or anything. We weren’t even out all night perfecting our version of Who’s on First? I think it was all the newness. And the learning. And the walking up hills.

I point this out not just for the sympathy you are supposed to show me (hint, hint) but as a pre-minder (that’s a reminder only in advance) that you should plan some significant sleeping during the first few weeks of school (big hint, big hint). You probably won’t want to – you’ll want to stay awake enjoying your freedom and your TV and your laptop and your new friends. But like a puppy who gets exhausted from lots of new sights and smells, all the new and exciting can wear you down quickly.

Exercising a dog’s mind wears them out MUCH faster than exercising their body for most breeds.

There won’t be anyone there to give you A Look and say something sage like “Come on, kid. Enough already.” And I am NOT one of those moms who will text you or call you to remind you to brush your teeth and go to sleep. (You are SO lucky.) I will remind you here. (Maybe not so much on the luck.)

So plan to clean up your toys and head to bed at a reasonable-ish hour those first few weeks. You’ll need that down time to process all the new and interesting in your life.

Just don’t forget to set your alarm. Because even though the University considers it optional (HA!), we bought you one and it works just fine.

I need a nap.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

I had lunch at Chipotle the other day. Sorry, you were working or I might have invited you to go with me.

As usual, scrumptious food. As usual, I used more Tabasco than I should have. As usual, it was too loud to eavesdrop easily. Which meant no one could hear my ramblings but also meant I missed out on what were undoubtedly interesting conversations.

But — never fear — I learned something very interesting.

Did you know there are over 60,000 “flavor combinations” at Chipotle? I know this, not because I remember factorials (!) but because Chipotle says so right on the cup. There is a whole conversation about it on the cup. If you’ve forgotten to bring reading material or your lunch companion is boring you have something to read. If they had included the math problem, I would declare it a Revolution in Education (Mathematic Concepts Through Fast-ish Food).

They didn’t (include the math, I mean). Not such a great move educationally, but probably better marketing. The vague narrative is more friendly. For everyone except Sheldon. It requires less brain work. For everyone except Sheldon.

Hope you have a big-number-factorial fabulous day at orientation.

!

Love, Mom