Dear Kid,

Where were you August 20, 1920? If you had been in Canton, Ohio, and if you had wandered into the Jordan and Hupmobile Auto Showroom, you might have stumbled into a meeting to organize a professional football league. Eventually, the group of seven formed the American Professional Football Conference (which became the American Professional Football Association which became the NFL). Three weeks after the APFC was formed, salary disputes and rule changes began proving that it was a) professional and b) organized. Mission accomplished.

All of which means that today is the birthday of organized professional football. You can feel free to celebrate at any time during the day.

Professional football began in the 1890s in Pennsylvania. Today it is a game played professionally in cities around the country and on many Division I college campuses. The first teams in the league were the Akron Pros, the Canton Bulldogs, the Cleveland Indians, and the Dayton Triangles. Yes, they were all Ohio teams even though the first professional team was in in Pennsylvania (the Allegheny Athletic Association). Guess how many of those teams remain?

So what have we learned?

1. Professional football began August 20, 1920, except it really didn’t.
2. Issues around player salaries, game attendance, and college eligibility have been around longer than football.
3. Joe Neanderthal was big football fan (it was of course all amateur back then).
4. It is important that the cost of 3 hot dogs at a professional football game is roughly equivalent to the annual budget for some small cities. This allows the team to pay for roughly one week of the lowest paid athlete.
5. Watching football is fun.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Have you heard the latest about college football players? The Chicago NLRB (National Labor Relations Board) ruled that college football players (specifically the players at Northwestern) are employees of the university. And therefore that they are allowed to form a union. Possibly even a more perfect union.

The players (and player advocacy groups of which there are a surprising number) are tickled pink. The school (and other colleges of which there are an unsurprising number) are not a bit amused.

Part of the statement from Northwestern read “Northwestern believes strongly that our student-athletes are not employees, but students.” As if being students and employees are mutually exclusive, which—duh—they are not.

The NCAA, knowing who supplies the butter for its bread, gave the ruling a thumbs down. Then again, the NCAA has a lot on its “we’re being sued” plate and claims it didn’t order dessert so please make this go away. Not likely.

The whole issue is muddy at the moment. There will be appeals. The ruling (basically) only applies to private colleges at the moment, and most football factories are state schools. There will also be questions (the kind you put off answering until the very last minute of the exam) about what players will demand when, as, and if they unionize. Current speculation is they will not be asking for money (because that could raise bigger problems like ineligibility) but instead will want things like better health coverage and better protection from head injuries. And probably an extra serving of butter on their bread.

I find the whole conversation fascinating. I suspect there will be many, many changes in college sports (did I mention the NCAA is facing a lot of law suits?) over the next few years. Probably none of those changes will result in female mascots, but they could result in a better situation for the players and the colleges. (Yes, I believe there are ways everyone can win if only people will sit down together and think rather than yell at each other in capital letters and giant red magic markers.)

Unfortunately, it seems more likely that the lawyers will get rich while the universities and the NCAA go kicking and screaming through the process.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

We are hip-pad deep in Football Season, and since you are enrolled in classes like Chemistry and Really Advanced and Complicated Math, I realize you probably don’t have time to study the Sport of the Gridiron. Fortunately, I am here to help. Here are 13 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About College Football.

1. During the first college football game (1869 Princeton v Rutgers) the teams each had 25 players on the field. The rules were different Back Then. However,  counting to 25 was a real challenge and the rules were changed over time to get a more manageable number of players on the field.

2. Field goals in college football were originally worth five points. The value of kicking the ball through the uprights was decreased to four points in 1904 and three points in 1909. This is important because it is the only known instance of deflation in college football. (Except for the footballs themselves. They deflate all the time.)

3. College bowl games once included the Raisin Bowl, Salad Bowl, and Oil Bowl. (I did not make that up.) The first Puppy Bowl was broadcast in 2005. The Puppies in the Puppy Bowl are all rescue puppies and there is information on the show about how to adopt them. Cuteness and responsibility in one. Better than the Raisin Bran Bowl.

4. The orange and white team colors of the Tennessee Volunteers were chosen in 1891 to represent the daisies which grow on the campus. Daisies. Guaranteed to strike fear into the hearts of opposing teams.

5. The forward pass first appeared in college football in 1906. It was introduced in an attempt to increase scoring and reduce injuries. One hates to contemplate the state of the game if injuries hadn’t been reduced…

6. During Nebraska Cornhuskers’ home games, their stadium becomes the state’s third largest city. Please observe a small moment of silence for all the comments I am not making about this little tidbit.

7. The Wisconsin Badgers once had a real-life badger as their mascot. During games, it was led around the sidelines on a leash. The animal proved too mean, and was replaced with a costumed mascot in 1940. It probably would have been terrified by the daisies.

8. The first college football game was broadcast on television in 1939. The teams involved were Fordham University and Waynesburg College. Pure. Marketing. Genius.

9. Yale has won more National Championship (18) than any other college football team. Their last title came in 1927 (that is what is called “Clarifying Information”).

10. College football fields were originally 120 yards long and 100 yards wide. Then they were made smaller. Presumably to make room for more daisies.

11. The white stripes on a college football are designed to help the receiver see the ball better. Clearly, the Steelers need bigger stripes. Who Dey! (Did I just say that?)

12. Although their team name is “The Cardinals,” Stanford’s unofficial mascot is the Stanford Tree. The mascot’s costume is created anew each year by the incumbent Tree. The mascot’s costume is created anew each year by the incumbent Tree. I have not been able to determine if the tree adds rings each year, but since it’s Stanford, I’m guessing the rings are accurately created based on rainfall and the amount of fertilizer in the area. Which I have to assume is substantial.

13. The rallying cry for the Maryland terrapins is “Fear the turtle.” But not as much as the daisies.

Give my best to Rufus and any other college mascots you see wandering around.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

If you look up this day in history you will find that August 17, 1969 was the last day of Woodstock. This has nothing to do with getting ready for college, but sometimes you need a break. There are a lot assumptions about how Woodstock was groovy and lovely with a lot of amazing music, but in reality it was crowded and muddy with a  lot of amazing music. Here are a bunch of other things you may not know about that part of Rock & Roll history.

Once upon a time there was a city called Woodstock that got very famous for an event that happened someplace else. The Woodstock Music Festival (Aug 15-17, 1969) three days of peace, love and rock ‘n’ roll took place in Bethel, NY about 40 miles away from Woodstock.

The organizers wanted to hold the festival in Woodstock but the town objected which caused all sorts of angst until a dairy farmer named Max Yasgur offered up his alfalfa field. No word on how the alfalfa crop faired in subsequent years. I also have no idea why the name of the festival didn’t get changed to Bethel Music Festival.

There were ten million yards of blue jeans and striped T-shirt material at Woodstock. Give or take a pair or two. Mostly give. No idea who did the measuring especially as that doesn’t seem like the best job of the century.

Not only is the name of the festival misleading, the icon is too. The dove perched on the guitar neck is really a catbird, which is in reality more grey than white and is known for its catlike calls. No clue why someone decided to use a catbird as the icon for a peaceful music gathering.

Half a gazillion hippies crowded into the alfalfa (or what was once an alfalfa field) to trade showers and food for the opportunity to get rained on and hear great music. I was not one of those people, not being nearly old enough to forgo a daily bath and regular meals.

There were two wooden signposts nailed to a tree with street sign like arrows. One was “Groovy Way” with arrows in opposite directions. The other had “Gentle Path” pointing to one side and “High Way” pointing to the other side. Groovy, man.

Though the festival mood was anti-war, with the number of bodies and the lack of facilities and food things would probably have gotten very ugly without the U.S. Army, which airlifted in food, medical teams, and performers. (Well, what do you expect? The organizers planned for about half the people that actually showed up. Thank you to the Army Dudes for helping out.)

Not only did the Army pitch in to help keep people fed and healthy at the festival, a local Jewish Community Center heard that there was a shortage of food. They didn’t make kugel, but they sent over sandwiches which were distributed by nuns. (Fabulous, right?)

There are lots of other not-particularly-well-known facts about Woodstock. (You can look them up in your spare time.) Here is my fav. John Lennon wanted to play at Woodstock. But he was in Canada and the US government refused to give him a visa to get into the country. Can you believe it? The US government kept John Lennon, the John Lennon, out of the country. Clearly, no teenagers in the government at the time.

Speaking of teenagers, the first scrimmage of the football season was a huge success. Pi kicked Varsity and went 3 for 3 on PATs (Point After Touchdown for the uninitiated). There was only one touchdown, but during a pre-season scrimmage things like scoring are only decorative. She had an amazingly good time being on the field with the Varsity team and is is still bubbling about it. She is entirely enamored with being the shortest and lightest on the football team. We pointed out that she also has the best hair and the most piercings. None of which have anything to do with being a good kicker, but a LOT to do with being Pi. Photos anon. (Anon meaning “When Dad takes some and gets around to sending them to me.” Just ask Mr. Webster.)

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program of getting ready for college.

Love, Mom