Dear Kid,

Spring in southern Ohio has multiple personalities.

You can find the soft, delicate, pastel Spring ushering in gently blooming buds and vibrant tulips. And you can count on that Spring to last at least 10 minutes.

Another Spring personality comes with pollen, launched with military precision at anyone who wanders outdoors. There are not enough antihistamines in the world to successfully combat Spring in southern Ohio.

Then there is the Stormy personality. Do not, my friend, imagine gentle April showers awakening the soil for May flowers. These are violent, LOOK AT ME NOW storms bringing tornadoes, ensuring job security for weather people, sending tree branches earthward, and knocking out power wherever possible. These are storms that create flooding and snarl traffic (although to be fair, six raindrops will snarl traffic in this area).

The sun has its own set of multiple personalities during April. Some days it will hide and sulk, casting the minimum amount of light it can get away with. Other days it shines brightly, the cool weather hiding the burn that will show up on everyone’s face by dinner.

Speaking of temperature, the range in southern Ohio in the Spring is from polar vortex to heat wave—sometimes in the same day. It makes it hard to figure out what to wear. Fortunately, the layered look is popular. At least in southern Ohio in the Spring.

Love, Mom

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Dear Kid,

Me: It’s freezing outside, put on your coat
Every Child That’s Every Lived In Our House: I’m fine.

Pi: What is the Puppy doing?
Me: I believe he is attempting open-heart surgery on his stuffed frog
Pi: Open-squeaker surgery?
Me: Right
Puppy: Must. Take. Scarf. Off. Frog.
A tug of war ensues
Puppy: I did it! I did it! I did it! The frog is scarf-free! The froggie is free!
Pi: Look at your toy. What a beautiful toy. Yes it is. Yes it is.
Puppy: Yes it is.
Pi: Yes it is. Can I see it? Bring it here.
Puppy: You want to see my wonderful squeaky frog?
Pi: That’s right, yes it is. Can I see it?
Puppy: Throw the frog Throw the frog Throw the frog Throw the frog Throw the WHAT? You put the scarf back on the frog.
Pi: Fetch!
Puppy: Froggie! Froggie! Froggie! Froggie!
Puppy: Must. Take. Scarf. Off. Frog.

Me: Let’s go for a walk
Puppy: Um, no
Me: Come on it’s walk time
Puppy: Um, no thank you
Me: What’s wrong?
Puppy: What’s wrong? Have you SEEN the weather report? It’s COLD
Me: Well, yes
Puppy: It’s colder than cold. It is beyond cold. That is no place for small dogs
Me: I understand it’s cold, but you need to go outside
Puppy: Nope. Waiting for spring

Puppy: Want to go home
Me: We just got outside
Puppy: I’m cold and I want to go home
Me: You have certain things to attend to first
Puppy: This is my miserable face
Me: This is my mom face
Puppy: I’m not happy about this
Me: I know

Puppy: S-s-s-s-so cold
Me: I know baby
Puppy: D-d-d-d-didn’t like the outside today
Me: I know, come here and let me help you warm up
Puppy: C-c-c-c-cold
Me: I know. Poor you
Puppy: P-p-p-poor me
Me: Yes baby
Puppy: Tomorrow will be better
Me: I’ve got bad news for you
Puppy: N-n-n-n-not happy
Me: I know

Stay warm, kiddo. And give the puppy extra snuggles today.

Love, Mom

For more puppy conversations see

• Puppy Conversations and Food Observations
• Spring Puppy Conversations
• New Puppy Conversations
• Winter WonderPuppy | Baby It’s Cold Outside
• Puppy Conversations Translated for the College Kid
• Puppy Conversations and FIFA World Cup Soccer
• Puppy Conversations and the Joy of Quirkiness
• Puppy Conversations| In the Beginning
• Puppy Conversations | What’s In a Name?
• Puppy Conversations | Puppy Plans a Party
• Puppy Speaks Foreign Languages…Sort Of
• Summer Puppy Conversations | Speaking of Hope
• National Dog Day | Puppy Has His Say
• Puppy Conversations | Completely In Love with Tal
• The Puppy and The Cricket | Wildlife in the House
• October is National Adopt a Shelter Dog Month |Puppy Has an Announcement
• Puppy Tries to Talk His Way Out of a Bath
• Chocolate Peanut Butter Fudge (vegan) for Breakfast
• Puppy Conversations | Mom Has a Headache and Puppy Tries to Help
• Puppy Conversations | Discussing Halloween
• Puppy Conversations | There Are Strangers in the House
• Puppy Conversations | Ricky The Yorkie Comes to Visit
• Puppy Conversations | Puppy Talks Turkey
• Puppy Conversations | Puppy Discovers Leftovers
• Puppy Conversations (Sort of) | The Sleep Challenge (Mine)

Dear Kid,

It’s officially winter. I know this because I was wearing my winter coat over my pajamas as I walked Booker this morning and the entire time I was wishing I had gloves. No matter how many times I checked my pockets, gloves did not appear. Booker thought it was delightful and bounded from blade of grass to blade of grass, sniffing and cheerfully cataloguing ever scented nuance. Of course, he was wearing a fur coat. And furry paws. And he’s not generally known for complaining about the weather (unless there is precipitation, in which case he has very clear views about staying inside). It seems like a ridiculously short time since I declared the start of fall, but shivering is a pretty good indicator of cold imho.

The Weather People (fooey) said there was going to be snow last night. They were wrong. (Excuse me one moment while I faint in surprise.) More interestingly (to me, anyway) my car has views on the weather! It was raining a little, but the streets were mostly dry when I left for work. I was on the hill heading down toward the fire station when my car beeped (I am NOT making this up) and a message came up on the display saying that there might be ice on the roads and I should please drive safely.

I. Was. Floored. (Which is better than my foot being floored what with the warning and all.) I’ve never had a car be concerned about my safety before.

But then I thought about it for a few minutes. Was the car asking me to drive safely to protect me or it? Is a car capable of the same sense of self-preservation I get when I have to walk down icy steps? Is Fred (that’s the car’s name because of the license plates) a kind, caring friend or just a selfish jerk?

In other warming news, Starbucks plans to open a tea house—the first one will be in NYC which is fab for Upper East Siders but not really an improvement for those of us in the Midwest.

Happy Tea-day,

Love, Mom