Dear Kid,

More than once, I have commented on the permanency and dangers of the internet (seriously – not erasable – no do-overs!).

More than once, I have commented on the joys and importance of coffee (seriously – pre-coffee conversation is risky at best).

Never before however have I felt the need to expose the steamy underside of the coffee world. (Get it? Steamy?)

The coffee cup world to be more precise.

Last night, I went to a meetup. It was the fabulous Cincinnati blogger meetup (yes, I’m a Geek). We gather about once a month to marvel over the joys of bloggership and learn fantastic geeky new tricks that mostly we never use.

Susan, our Hostess with the Mostest, provides snacks and beverages (adult and otherwise). Yay, Susan!

The phrase “Hostess with the Mostest” is originally from the show Call Me Madam and may (or may not) refer to Perle Mesta.

“Might there still be coffee in that carafe?” I asked, pointing.

“Possibly,” she said making a face, “but I doubt it’s still hot. You can microwave it.” And then, “the mugs are in the cabinet over your head…no, to the right…there you go. Just grab one.”

So I did and filled said mug.

The coffee was (surprisingly) warm and I drank it (unsurprisingly) happily.

After a minute, Susan looked over and started to giggle.

I was pretty sure I hadn’t (yet) spilled coffee on myself so I looked up questioningly.

“Um, I hate to tell you,” she said, “but there’s something on the bottom of your cup.”

“Huh?” I asked insightfully thinking to myself ‘I’m pretty sure I haven’t put the mug down in the cake frosting (yet).’

I lifted the mug to look.

Uh-huh.

I’m having a moment.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

It is possible that some days you’ve had enough coffee. Today, I’m not there yet. I’ll get there, because I’m determined. I’m just that sort of mom.

In the meantime, here are 11 Ways to Tell You Haven’t Had Enough Coffee. (I’ve provided pictures in case you haven’t had enough coffee either.)

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when you can kill people just by looking at them.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when breathing requires all your concentration.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when deciding which King to move in Solitaire is too daunting a decision.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when curling up with the puppy and going back to sleep is the only option.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when numbers look like little people dancing.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when your eyelids weigh 50 lbs. Each.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when getting up seems so difficult you spend 5 minutes willing the coffee pot to deliver your next cup.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when you ignore your cup and start drinking out of the pot.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when someone says, “You look like you need a cup of coffee. Can I get one for you? My treat.”

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when you can convince people not to argue with you with one word: coffee.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when you’re a college student and it’s finals week.

I’d write more, but my coffee is ready. Thank heavens.

Love, Mom

Share DearKidLoveMom.com with a friend. You can wait until you’ve had a little coffee; I’ll still be here.

More Mom Thoughts about coffee.

What Time Is It? (Clocks and Other Coffee Considerations)

Spilled Coffee That’s Worth Crying Over

Study Shows Coffee Evaporates Faster Than Other Liquid

Blue Ref Jerseys, Know It Alls, and Coffee

There Is No Coffee in TEAm and Other Caffeinated News

National Coffee Day, Caffeinated Squirrel, and 7 Facts About Coffee

The Best Time for Donuts

Parsley, Sage, and Findlay Market

College Breakfast and Better Breakfast Month

The Universe Handed Me a Gift (Didn’t See This One Coming, Did You?)

Do You Have EE? How to Tell and 5 Ways to Treat It

Considering Housewarming Gifts

Seven Kinds of Cups (Bet You Don’t Know Them)