Posts Tagged "closet"

An Entirely New Approach to House Cleaning

housecleaningDear Kid,

I think I am going to try a new approach to housework this weekend.

In the past, I’ve tried tackling housework projects head-on. It’s never worked out as well as I might hope. But I’m pretty sure I’ve figured out the issue.

The problem as I see it is that the housework is fighting back. When I tackle projects straight-on, the housework sees me coming, marshalls its considerable resources, and stages a successful counterattack. While some of the dust acts to distract me by jumping on the Swiffer, most of the dirt scatters before I get to it and then reaccumulates after I’ve moved on.

Result: Dust Dragons: 3. Me: 0.

I think the correct approach must be to sneak up on the housework. If it doesn’t see me coming, I might be able to lob in a squirt or two of Windex or something before the barriers go up. I might be able to corral some of the Tupperware and shove it into the cabinet before it realizes it is no longer going to be free-range plastic. I might be able to get the laundry done and folded before it takes root.

I envision a home with a new score: Me: 1; Chaos: 0.

Then again, I might decide to get a pedicure and a blindfold.

Love, Mom

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The Fitness Closet and Some Things Are Too Much

Dear Kid,

I love The Skimm. Love, love, love (and thank you to Auntie C to who introduced us to The Skimm).

My fitness closet does not compare to Khloe Kardashian's. I think that's a good thing. DearKidLoveMom.comBut it’s thanks to The Skimm that I now know The World Has Gone Too Far. Khloe Kardashian has a fitness closet.

Not sure I should know anything about Khloe. Not sure I should know she has a fitness closet. But now I do and it has given rise to Some Thoughts.

First of all, how many pairs of fitness shoes can one person have? (Did I really write that?) Even for me, it seems excessive when one individual has more pairs of shoes than DSW. At some point, you just can’t even wear that many in year.

And how many different closets does one person need? What’s more to the point, how do you remember which closet something is in? Hmmm….are my red pants in the red closet or the pants closet?

And how many black sweatshirts does one human need? I counted 18 or so in the picture. Really? Even Pi doesn’t have that many and she seems to have accumulated a ridiculous number of sweatshirts in recent years. Is it possible that Khloe has multiple clothes closets but not one single washing machine? Seems unlikely.

It’s not that I begrudge her excesses (well, not exactly). She can afford it and the sports clothing and closet building industries are grateful for her desire to accumulate and organize. I’m just sort of stunned by it.

I aspire to get to the financial point in life where I have the wherewithal to be able to build and fill such a closet. And I hope that if I ever get to that point I choose to spend my money elsewhere.

Love, Mom

Who do you know that would enjoy Share! It’s a nice way to start the day.

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Why We Need Adult Garanimals

Dear Kid,

I needed Garanimals to get dressed yesterday.

Getting dressed used to be so much easier. Garanimals. DearKidLoveMom.comDo you know what Garanimals are (or were)? Garanimals were line of clothing with an animal on the label. The tiger pants went with any tiger shirt, giraffe shirts went with giraffe bottoms, and so on. The point was that even little kids could get dressed by themselves and end up matching. A side benefit was that dads could get even littler kids dressed in a way that moms who cared about coordinated children would approve of.

I really could have used Garanimals yesterday. Nothing I put on worked.

Was it that I hadn’t had enough coffee? Or that the elves had taken all my good clothes and replaced them with bad clothes? I don’t know. But it wasn’t pretty.

The pants I tried didn’t go with the top I tried. I added shoes hoping it would pull the outfit together. The outfit remained un-pulled. I tried a different top. Horrible.

I started looking for the animals on the labels. Nothing.

I thought about wearing a dress, but the bruise I got from the spin bike made that seem like a bad idea.

The thing about mornings (as I’ve mentioned before) is that time doesn’t slow down to accommodate the sartorially challenged.

I ended up getting to work (mostly) on time with all the appropriate bits covered. A colleague was kind enough to say I looked good in what I’d managed to put together. Small children didn’t flee in horror or point in ridicule so I must have not been too ridiculous.

But Garanimals would have been better.

Love, Mom


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Finding the Stuff, Heavy Sigh, and People-Eating Laundry

Dear Kid,

If you were more of a neatness-oriented child <stop>. Let’s be honest. If you were more of a neatness-oriented child you’d probably have chosen more neatness-oriented parents.


Yesterday you asked me to send you some Stuff from your room. Being the kind of mom I am, I agreed to undertake the challenge.

I ventured into the accumulation of chaos we call your room. Don’t worry, I had on a full hazmat suit and a helmet.

The thing about agreeing to send you Stuff is that I forgot about the finding the Stuff first.

I looked high (periscope up) and low (periscope down).

I did not find the Stuff.


So I did the Smartest Thing Possible.

I sent Dad up to your room to search.

After a few minutes, he didn’t reappear.

A few minutes later, he still hadn’t emerged and I began to wonder if the closet had eaten him.

Fortunately, it turned out that he was being thorough and had not been dissolved in a pile of laundry.

But he didn’t find the Stuff either.


And sorry.

Love, Mom

Who do you know that would enjoy Share the love!

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Attacking the Problems I Prefer to Ignore

Dear Kid,

Angelo cuts hair.
In an unusual twist of social norms, the men in our family get their hair cut far more often than the women. You and Dad get shorn regularly, while Pi and just (mostly) let the dang stuff grow.

Yesterday was our more-or-less annual We’d Best At Least Get a Trim Day.

While Pi went off to get her hair trimmed and gorgeoused (yes, I just made that a word), Angelo and I settled down for a great chat (right up to when I learned he has waaaaay more shoes than I do and “great chat” turned to awe) and to “do something about” the mess of a mane I wear.

You’ll be glad to know I did not dye my hair violet (the girl [word chosen with care and accuracy] next to Pi was having her hair dyed violet (died violet?) for her wedding in two weeks), but I do look much more like someone who pays attention to what her hair is supposed to look like. We’ll see what happens when I try to tend to it myself without Angelo to use umpteen products, a blow dryer, a straight iron, and a bit of magic.

Angelo and I solved most of the world’s problems during our visit. The world is ignoring most of our solutions, but you can’t have everything.

Because I was on my semi-annual oddessy of Attacking Problems I Prefer to Ignore, I spent the rest of the day working on the chaos I call my closet. I have by no means finished the project, but I did discover a pair of boots I’ve been looking for and I’ve started a pile of Things I Am Never Going to Wear Again (partly because they don’t go with my new hair and partly because I hate them). In a little while I will dive back in (leaving directions with Dad and the Puppy to rescue me if they don’t hear from me by dinner time).

Hope you are tackling big projects (like finals) with equal success this weekend.

Love, Mom

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