Dear Kid,

Just in case you thought violence and misbehavior in football was a recent invention, let me assure you idiots have been around for more than a while.

Case in point: Woody Hayes, one time Ohio State University (OSU) football coach.

Hayes had been the coach of the Buckeyes for 28 years at the time of our story. On December 29, 1978, OSU was playing Clemson in the Gator Bowl. (This is very exciting, pay attention.)

Right near the end of the game, OSU was down two points. A Clemson Tigers linebacker intercepted a pass (can you hear the roar of the crowd?) and was knocked out of bounds on the Buckeyes sideline.

As Charlie Bauman (the Clemson linebacker in question) got up, Hayes punched him in the throat.

Under no possible interpretation of the phrase can that be considered “good sportsmanship.”

It took several Buckeyes to restrain Hayes. Under no possible interpretation of the words could Hayes have been considered “calm and reasonable.”

OSU lost 15-17.

The next day, December 30, 1978, OSU fired Hayes.

It’s worth noting (because I say so) that last night the Clemson Tigers also beat OSU in the Russell Athletic Bowl. A different OSU (last night it was Oklahoma State University) and to the best of my knowledge no players were punched in the throat.

And under no possible interpretation of the phrase can last night’s score be considered “a close game.”

Love, Mom

In case you missed it, Oklahoma finally scored when Clemson pulled their 49th string put in several cheerleaders and a trombone player. The final score was Oklahoma 6, Clemson 40.

That is not a typo.