Dear Kid,

I think we can agree that I am not an overly unreasonable mom. Somewhat unreasonable, maybe, because all good moms (by definition) need to be unreasonable in their kids’ eyes at least occasionally.

But overly unreasonable? Probably not.

And I think we can agree that I am not overly concerned with neatness. I have an advanced case of clutter-itis which has occasionally cleared up, but always returns.

HOWEVER, I think it is important that you understand that even I have minimum standards of neatness.

And at the moment, your room does not come anywhere close to meeting the minimum standards.

Which means that you, my dear kiddo, have a project in front of you.

3 reasons you have to clean your room

1. I said so – yep, I’m your mom, I get to pull that every now and then
2. It’s harder to rent out your room when I can’t even walk in to show potential boarders the features
3. I went into you room to deliver a package and it attacked me. Your room, not the package. As far as I can tell the package is very well behaved. Your room, on the other hand, is rather aggressive. Time to tame it.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Watch out world, I have energy!

After weeks of fighting off The Crud (the official name of the disease since the medical professionals assured me I did not have The Plague), I woke up today without the intense desire to go right back to sleep.

I have energy and there are Things To Be Done.

Not particularly interesting things, but things nonetheless.

The Puppy has wisely decided to take an Important Morning Nap far from the hustle and bustle (he made this decision once he figured out that food for him was not one of the Things To Be Done).

Have you ever had a day like this? Where you have the time and the energy to tackle projects that you’ve ignored for longer than you care to admit? (Like cleaning up your room, which is going to be labeled a Federal Disaster Area this spring if you don’t do something about it on your next trip home.)

I feel great.

Off to Accomplish Something.

Hope you’re feeling better, kiddo. Sleep, drink juice, slurp soup, and get well.

Love you kiddo.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

I was in the mood to clean yesterday.

“In the Mood to Clean” is—in my world—sort of like cicadas: happens in odd cycles, is generally messy, impacts everyone in the vicinity, seems to go on forever but is in reality short lived, and in no time at all it’s as though it had never been.

I have always believed in having a neat and clean living area. While I have frequently achieved clean, I seem to be able to manage “neat” only intermittently. Fortunately, Auntie M explained that she and I inherited the Clutter Gene and therefore  can’t be held responsible for all the piles and accumulations. I continue to fight against my genetics (when the mood strikes) but I am not exactly winning the battle.

~~~

When I was in college, there were three times each semester when I did Outrageous Cleaning. The first was right before break. Like right before Thanksgiving. Because I couldn’t stand the idea of coming back to a crazy messy room. I’m pretty sure that is also genetic.

The second time I’d clean was during midterms and the third was during finals. There was something about studying (or procrastinating) that drove me to clean. Generally, I’d ask a friend to sit in my dorm room and entertain me (or I’d do the talking and entertaining) while I cleaned up. We’d drink Tab (the Coke Zero of the time), gossip, and I’d put things away. My process was to start in one corner of the room and work my way around. The only “rule” I imposed on myself was that I couldn’t put any mess in an area I’d already cleaned up. Once the room was neat, I’d study. Usually.

No matter how hard I tried, the neatness lasted approximately 27 seconds.

Then, the drawers would burst open, my books would rearrange themselves, and the piles would mysteriously repopulate my room.

~~~

So the Mood to Clean struck yesterday. Over the years, I’ve learned to go with it; it’s not something you can treat by lying down in a dark room and hoping it goes away. It would have been very useful to get this mood before your graduation, but it’s not something I can usually call at a whim. And we had the baby bird. I got the entire guest room cleaned and I emptied out the Dresser that Doesn’t Belong in the Hallway but is Living There Anyway.

And I did it without a Coke Zero.

Love, Mom