Dear Kid,

I’ve finally figured out the problem with Life, the Universe, and Everything (extra points if you get the reference).

The problem is that the Way I Want the World To Be is not (unfortunately) the Way the World Is.

Which is sad.

For example, the Way I Want the World To Be is I can eat as much chocolate as I want and still lose weight. The Way the World Actually Is is that my scale says, “Bwah ha hahahahahaha. Ha.”

The Way I Want the World to Be is elves show up to clean the house. The Way the World Actually Is is the dust dragons say “Mwahhhhhahhahahaha.”

There is the distinct possibility that the chocolate and the elves have both been eaten by the dust dragons.

The Way I Want the World to Be is people taking care of their animals in a safe and loving way. The Way the World Actually Is is Rescue Shelters.

The Way I Want the World to Be is me sleeping half an hour later than usual because I have everything ready and I don’t have any early meetings. The Way the World Actually Is is me up at 4:45am because Awake Happened.

The Way I Want the World to Be is I’m Queen of the World (or at least my own little part of it). The Way the World Actually Is is that I’m Queen of the World (at least my own little—very little—part of it). Well, more like I’m Queen of my car when I’m the only one in it.

I’ll take what I can get. At least until the rest of the world catches up.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Sometimes a picture says it all. With cats, it’s all in the Look.

Cats think believe know they are in charge of the world.

But they generally allow people to admire them.

And often look adorable.

Love, Mom

Cat Conversations | Cat and Mouse
Puppy Conversations | Being a Cat
Voices of a Cat | Kitten Observations

Dear Kid,

I think I’m being taken advantage of…

You just said to catch him. You didn’t say anything about what to do next.

Just don’t let the dog see me like this!

Today is going to be a real Monday, isn’t it?

I AM the better mousetrap.

Murphy warned me about days like today…

This is NOT right.

NOW WHAT?

Where did you put the mouse? It was just here…

Love, Mom

Like Cat Conversations and Kitten Observations? Read more:

Voices of a Cat | Kitten Observations

Prefer to read about the Puppy?

• Puppy Conversations and Food Observations
• Spring Puppy Conversations
• New Puppy Conversations
• Winter WonderPuppy | Baby It’s Cold Outside
• Puppy Conversations Translated for the College Kid
• Puppy Conversations and FIFA World Cup Soccer
• Puppy Conversations and the Joy of Quirkiness
• Puppy Conversations| In the Beginning
• Puppy Conversations | What’s In a Name?
• Puppy Conversations | Puppy Plans a Party
• Puppy Speaks Foreign Languages…Sort Of
• Summer Puppy Conversations | Speaking of Hope
• National Dog Day | Puppy Has His Say
• Puppy Conversations | Completely In Love with Tal
• The Puppy and The Cricket | Wildlife in the House
• October is National Adopt a Shelter Dog Month |Puppy Has an Announcement
• Puppy Tries to Talk His Way Out of a Bath
• Chocolate Peanut Butter Fudge (vegan) for Breakfast
• Puppy Conversations | Mom Has a Headache and Puppy Tries to Help
• Puppy Conversations | Discussing Halloween
• Puppy Conversations | There Are Strangers in the House
• Puppy Conversations | Ricky The Yorkie Comes to Visit
• Puppy Conversations | Puppy Talks Turkey
• Puppy Conversations | Puppy Discovers Leftovers
• Puppy Conversations (Sort of) | The Sleep Challenge (Mine)
• Puppy Conversations | DeScarfing the Frog and Freezing Weather
• Puppy Conversations | Take Your Puppy to Work Day (Not)
• Puppy Conversations | Split Attention: Cat vs Food
• Puppy Conversations | The Adoption Event
• Puppy Conversations | Going to School and Going to Work
• Puppy Conversations | Puppy’s Innards Do the Talking
• Early Morning Puppy Conversations
• Puppy Conversations | April 15 and Puppy Takes Over the Blog
• Puppy Conversations | Walking in the Rain with My Puppy
• Puppy Conversations | It’s All About the Food
• Puppy Conversations | Puppy Logic Doesn’t Get Him Out of a Bath
• Crutches, Be a Millionaire Day, and Puppy Commentary
• Puppy Conversations | How to Get Rid of a Stink Bug and Pi Saves the Day
• Puppy Conversations | Walking in Sharon Woods Park
• Puppy Conversations | Morning Walk and Considering Breakfast
• Puppy Conversations | Puppy Rolls in Something Dead
• Puppy Conversations | Going to the Vet
• Puppy Conversations | Kid Moves into First Apartment
• Puppy Conversations | Mom Explains Weeding
• Puppy Conversations | Views on Dinner
• Puppy Conversations | The Photo Shoot
• Puppy Conversations | Being a Cat

Dear Kid,

Have you seen the commercial for neutering cats? It’s by givethemten.org (as in one more than nine lives).

From their website: Hip spectacles. No testicles. Meet Scooter, the suave neutered cat every Tom wants to be.  He’s playfully catty. And when it comes to being gonad-free, he’s the debonair cat-in-the-know. Hear his take on going sans testes, share his wisdom with friends and sign the pledge to be gonad-free.

Here’s the commercial (you’ll love this, I promise).

And here’s the second one which is even better

See? Great commercials, great cause, Great Scott!

There is an overwhelming lack of clarity around the term Great Scott! The most important thing to know is that (at least for the moment) it is a perfectly acceptable alternative to “holy @#$%!” The phrase probably doesn’t refer to those of the kilt-wearing variety, but rather to General Winfield Scott of the US Army (think Mexican War and early Civil War times).

Now you know.

Love, Mom