Posts Tagged "breakfast"

Harvest Your Own Sap for Maple Syrup

Dear Kid,

Tapping the maple grove hoping for a huge maple syrup harvest. DearKidLoveMom.comDad has decided to tap the maple grove. The maple grove in our front yard consisting of exactly one youngish tree.

Dad: Do you know what a spile is?
Me: Yes.
Dad: You do?
Me: Of course I do. I read all the Hunger Games books.
Dad: Huh?
Me: Never mind. I know what a spile is.

So Dad and NeighborFriend drilled a hole in our tree, plugged in the spile, and rigged an entire system to harvest maple sap.

They forgot to ask the tree how she felt about having the procedure done.

Apparently she wasn’t so much in favor of being harvested.

So far, we have an elaborate rig, a broken spile, and no sap collected.

Dad has explained—in exquisite detail—that this is due to the warm weather (which will soon be corrected), not clearing out the hole for the spile (which has now been “mended” with a straw), and other metaphysical inconsistencies.

Just so we’re clear: do not count on maple syrup supplementing your inheritance. You’ll be lucky if it supplements your pancake. Singular.

Love, Mom

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You’re Not Going to Believe What Holiday Today Is

Dear Kid,

STOP EVERYTHING!!

Happy Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day! DearKidLoveMom.comIt’s Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day (I did not make this up). Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day was invented sometime in the 1960s in Rochester, NY (because everyone thinks of starting their day off with ice cream when it’s minus 142 degrees outside).

There are all sorts of ice cream flavors including lots of breakfast flavors (I’m not aware of a green eggs and ham one, although there very well could be such a thing).

There are the fruit flavors (orange, banana, strawberry), the coffee flavors (coffee, mocha), and the breakfast pastry flavors (donut, cinnamon roll).

There is bacon ice cream, and French toast ice cream, and most ice cream is made with an egg base.

There are waffle cones and cookie cones and don’t even get me started about the variety of add-ins that are really should be considered breakfast food.

The big question (duh) is WHO CARES IF IT’S PRETENDING TO BE BREAKFAST FOOD? It’s a holiday. Ice cream is being celebrated. What more rationale could you possibly want?

Eat your breakfast.

Love, Mom

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Puppy Writes Today’s Blog

Dear Kid,

Mom is cooking. And she’s not sharing.

Mom is cooking. And she’s not sharing. Even though I’ve asked very nicely. Which doesn't seem like a good idea to me. I think you should come home and FEED ME! Before my nose explodes! DearKidLoveMom.comEven though I’ve asked very nicely.

I think her exact words were, “Puppy, go write to the Kid about it because you are not getting any of this chicken.”

Or something like that.

So just to show that I’m a good boy, I decided to write to you.

Today was a very exciting day. It started when Mom woke me up (she wasn’t cooking then) and we snuggled before I took her for a morning walk. She likes to think she wakes me up, but really I’m wide awake the minute she gets out of bed. I just like to lie quietly in my blankets and let her think she’s waking me up because she needs jobs like that.

After our walk, I had breakfast. Do you know what breakfast is? It’s FOOD! Which is de-li-shus.

Then I chewed on my chipmunk toy while mom went upstairs. It was Very Important Chewing, but I kept an ear open in case there were Intruders. Or someone dropping food. (There weren’t any Intruders today, but don’t worry—I’m guarding the house.)

Then I took a nap, because breakfast and chewing are very tiring.

When I finished that nap, I turned around and took another one. Naps are something I practice every day, and I am very good at them. I would be happy to teach you how to nap if you’d like. You let all of you go to sleep EXCEPT for one ear, because you never know what might happen. Be sure to turn around every now and then so your other ear can listen and your first ear can sleep.

After my naps, I did a bit of this and a bit of that (although not really very much of that), and then everyone came home and now there is COOKING and My Nose Is Going to Explode and No One Cares!!!

I think you should come home from college and feed me.

Love, Puppy

And that’s exactly what I found on my computer.

Love, Mom

Who do you know who might enjoy DearKidLoveMom and Puppy Conversations? Share the love!

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It’s National Oatmeal Month and You’re Not Going to Believe This

Dear Kid,

How do you eat your oatmeal? Celebrate National Oatmeal Month! DearKidLoveMom.comYou may not have heard, but January is National Oatmeal Month. Which means it is time for breakfast and to learn interesting facts about oatmeal. (Thanks to the Whole Grain Council’s website for some of these delicious facts. Did you know there was a Whole Grain Council? Now you do.)

Samuel Johnson’s 1755 dictionary defined oats as “A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland appears to support the people.” The Scotsman’s retort to this was, “That’s why England has such good horses, and Scotland has such fine men!”

Only 5% of oats grown in the world are eaten by humans. Which (according to oatmeal lovers) probably means that horses are being fed better than we are. And if you consider some of the stuff we humans eat (like fast food and kale) they are probably right.

From the Interesting Facts File: there is a city in Texas named Oatmeal. Nearby is a city called Bertram where they have an annual Oatmeal Festival. Really. A festival dedicated to oatmeal. (It started as a spoof of the zillions of chili cook-offs in Texas.)

An 18-ounce package of old fashioned oats contains about 26,000 rolled oats. No idea who did the counting.

Not only is oatmeal an excellent choice for breakfast, cookies, muffins, bread, and a host of other yummies we know about, oatmeal is often used in the food industry as a stabilizer in foods like ice cream. Which means you can now feel quite virtuous getting your ice cream fix.

Early introduction of oats in children’s diets may help reduce their risk of asthma.

If you’re not hungry, you can certainly choose to wear your oats. Oats have a natural anti-itching property and are used in many lotions to calm irritated skin. (Fun fact: the name “Aveeno” comes from the botanical name avena, for oats. Bet you didn’t know that.)

Or you can read by oatmeal. Not really, but a project at the University of Iowa (in conjunction with – wait for it – Quaker) is using oat hulls (the parts we don’t eat) to generate energy. Kinda neat, huh? You can read about the project here.

In Britain, a warming and nourishing oatmeal broth drink was traditionally made from oat husks soaked until they soured; it was called “sowans” in Scotland, and “brewis” in Wales.

There are a zillion (I counted) health benefits associated with eating oatmeal. According to My Friend the Internet, oatmeal can solve (or radically reduce the effects of) every major disease known to man including paper cuts (actually, I made that part up – but maybe it can…).

Many people consider oatmeal brulée the ultimate porridge: picture a thick bowl of oatmeal topped with a thin layer of caramelized sugar and some fresh berries.

Of course, the big question about oatmeal is: How do you eat yours? Plain? Instant? Topped with berries, brown sugar, raisins, maple syrup? Rolled or steel cut? There are a lot of options in Oatmeal Eating World.

But I don’t have time to discuss them because I’m off to make – you guessed it – oatmeal for breakfast.

Love, Mom

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Do You Know This About the Pizza You’re Eating?

Dear Kid,

In my search for Terribly Interesting Information, I have been researching pizza. Yep, I have found Bizarre Pizza facts.

Turns out Mrs. Joe Neanderthal invented pizza. She didn’t mean to. She meant to make a pie for dinner, but ran out of dough. So instead of covering it, she served it flat (she didn’t have a pie dish since they wouldn’t be invented for several thousand years) without a cover. The little Neanderthals immediately ate all of it, started watching too much TV, and began arguing about the proper way to eat a slice. Pizza was invented.

Pizza should be eaten hot and fresh. Only microwave in dire emergencies. The good news is you get to define "emergency." DearKidLoveMom.com

Pizza is the math of food. There is a Pizza Principle stating (with ridiculous accuracy) that the cost of a pizza has matched the cost of a NYC subway ride for over 50 years. There is the Pizza Theorem which it’s too early in the morning for me to understand (much less explain) so if you want to know more about it go check it out on Wikipedia; I can tell you that it involves the symbol pi, which seems very fitting.

Mostly there is a lot of pizza (the best of which is in NYC just a subway ride away). On average, Americans eat 46 slices of pizza a year. Professional eater Joey Chestnut set a record when he ate 40½ slices of pizza in 10 minutes. I have no idea how he eats his pizza, but I can say with confidence that if you eat that much pizza in that short a time you’re doing it wrong.

In Scotland, they deep fry pizzas. I have no words. Seriously, no words. But I may need to plan a trip to Scotland to investigate further.

36% of people consider pizza the perfect breakfast. They are correct. (But for the record I should note that it is not the only perfect breakfast.)

The world’s fastest pizza maker can make 14 pizzas in 2 minutes and 35 seconds. This seems like an abundance of efficiency to me.

Pizza is so important that NASA is developing 3D printers that can print pizzas for astronauts. My opinion on that has yet to be determined. Pizza?, yes; in space?, certainly; 3D printed?, hmmm, not sure about that yet. But then again I’ve never eaten 3D printed food.

If you’re eating pizza today (and if you hadn’t planned to, this may have changed your mind), enjoy! If you’re not eating pizza today, enjoy whatever you are eating.

Love, Mom

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