Dear Kid,

It’s Elephant Appreciation Day (but you knew that).

African elephants have the best sense of smell in the animal kingdom. They can smell water 12 miles away and detect rain 150 miles away. Elephants would make excellent TV weather people, except they are smarter than the average meteorologist.

And it’s the Autumnal Equinox which means that if you were standing exactly on the equator (which you’re not) and you’d brought a stop watch with you (which you probably wouldn’t have done) and if you happened to time both the day and night (which you’d only do if you cared about such things and you probably don’t), you’d discover that the Autumnal Equinox is when (on the equator) there are exactly 12 hours of day and 12 hours of night.

And it’s Hobbit Day, what with being Frodo and Bilbo Baggins’ birthday. Hobbits love to eat and eat 7 meals a day including breakfast and second breakfast.

“Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

That seems like enough of a reason to be a Hobbit. Breakfast and Second Breakfast? I’m in love.

Elephants don’t divide their food into meals; they eat all day long. Maybe I’ll be a Hobbit-Elephant. Hobephant? Elebbit?

“May the hair on your toes never fall out!”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

And Happy Fall.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

New ideas can be tricky.

Sometimes a new idea seems great from the very beginning.

Sometimes an idea starts out seeming like a bad idea but then turn out to be great once we get used to it.

Sometimes an idea starts out seeming to be a bad idea but then gets sufficiently refined to be a good idea.

So it’s important to give new ideas a chance, to give them a chance to become more familiar, to give them time to grow on you.

But sometimes new ideas are just not good ideas, and if they grow on you at all it’s more like mold than anything you’d want to cut and put in a vase.

Case in point: the Curling Iron Scrambled Egg.

I like eggs. I like scrambled eggs (as long as they’re made with real eggs and don’t have weird stuff cooked into them). But there is really nothing good about scrambled eggs made with a curling iron except being able to say you did it. (Besides, it looks a little obscene.)

Making eggs with a curling iron doesn’t save time, money, or the all-important number of things to be washed. You still have to buy eggs, you still have to have a dish to mix the eggs in, you still have to open a drawer to find something to mix with, you still have to find a plate to eat on, AND you ruin your curling iron.

Seriously.

Why would someone think this is a good idea?

Cosmopolitan seemed to think it was a good enough idea to film it (here’s the link if you want to watch it yourself). I’m not sure why; I had the sound off for most of the video. But there’s a reason professional chefs don’t include “curling iron” among their kitchen must-haves: it’s dumb.

The only dumber idea I can think of at the moment is using curling iron to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Ick.

Happy Breakfast.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Once upon a time, there was no such thing as macaroni and cheese. Hundreds of thousands of college students went hungry for lack of a blue box. Some of them ate ramen noodles. Most of them just drank beer and pretended to go to class.

Then in the early 1900s someone figured out how to create that amazing American invention: processed cheese food.

FACT:  Any food that actually has the word “food” in its name is not actually food.

So there was James Lewis Kraft, scrolling through his newsfeed, when he came across the idea of extending the shelf life of creating processed cheese. Then he made it magically delicious by adding macaroni and a blue box. In 1937, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese sold for 19 cents a box and enabled families to eat during the Depression.

Food needs during the Depression and during college are remarkably similar: dirt cheap, easy to make, inexpensive, minimal refrigeration required, and lack-of-budget-friendly. Ta-Da! Mac and cheese.

Not only is it cheap, it tastes good and glows like a flashlight. What more could you ask for?

What’s your favorite way to eat mac and cheese?

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

March has me confused. What happened to Spring? Just yesterday it was warm enough to wear a T-shirt and today it is Winter degrees outside.

Therefore, I am doing the only reasonable thing: burying myself under 17 layers of blankets and cuddling up with the Puppy, my computer, and a cup of coffee. Maybe several cups.

Hopefully, you are staying warm. Personally, I don’t plan to emerge until that silly rodent follows through on his promise of a short winter.

Speaking of absolutely freezing cold, it was absolutely freezing cold in Pittsburgh and we still had a marvelous time.

We toured Fallingwater, the home by Frank Lloyd Wright. Interestingly, it was nominated for the 8^th Wonder of the World (but lost to Manchu Pichu—another place I’d like to go).

Fallingwater is snuggled into the environment, right over a lovely little waterfall.

And we ate our way through Thai food, Greek food, “eclectic” food,

Italian food, and (of course) waffles.

Then we rolled home.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

It’s Waffle Day!

In honor of Waffle Day, Pi and I had breakfast at Waffles Incaffeinated in Pittsburgh.

Let me sum up our experience by saying “YUM!”

I had the Mega-Berry Waffle.

Pi had a Very Interesting Waffle that she added things to to make it Even More Interesting.

We sampled all three of the house syrups (maple, maple bourbon, and vanilla). And there was a lot of good coffee for one of us. (I’ll let you guess which one.)

It was a great way to start our day.

Fun (or not) waffle facts:

• The word “waffle” is from the Dutch, meaning “wafer.”
• Unless it comes from the Old German “wefan”, which meant “to weave something into the shape of a honeycomb.”
• Waffles were brought to America by the pilgrims. Which started the tradition of turkey and waffles.
• There are waffles in our freezer because Eggo started freezing waffles in 1953. The ones in our freezer were made more recently.
• There are savory waffles in the world, but they are a mistake.

How are you going to celebrate Waffle Day? Enjoy!

Love, Mom