housecleaningDear Kid,

I think I am going to try a new approach to housework this weekend.

In the past, I’ve tried tackling housework projects head-on. It’s never worked out as well as I might hope. But I’m pretty sure I’ve figured out the issue.

The problem as I see it is that the housework is fighting back. When I tackle projects straight-on, the housework sees me coming, marshalls its considerable resources, and stages a successful counterattack. While some of the dust acts to distract me by jumping on the Swiffer, most of the dirt scatters before I get to it and then reaccumulates after I’ve moved on.

Result: Dust Dragons: 3. Me: 0.

I think the correct approach must be to sneak up on the housework. If it doesn’t see me coming, I might be able to lob in a squirt or two of Windex or something before the barriers go up. I might be able to corral some of the Tupperware and shove it into the cabinet before it realizes it is no longer going to be free-range plastic. I might be able to get the laundry done and folded before it takes root.

I envision a home with a new score: Me: 1; Chaos: 0.

Then again, I might decide to get a pedicure and a blindfold.

Love, Mom