Dear Kid,

Turns out fish think better in groups than individually. I am not making this up.

It’s not that the fish copy each other’s answers (they’re in school after all). It’s more that fish live something of a meritocracy.

A male emperor angelfish lives together with up to five female mates. If the emperor angelfish dies, one of the females turns into a male fish and becomes the leader of the group.

The fish seem to figure out whose summa is the laud-est and they follow that fish. This is the opposite of lemmings who (according to legend) follow whatever fuzzy tail is in front of them.

Scientists figured out the fish thinking thing by giving individual fish choices about which way to swim and then giving groups of fish choices. Turns out individual fish are more likely to pick the “Become a filet o’ fish” lane and groups of fish are more likely to pick the “This way to the plankton pool” path.

Human children do not necessarily behave this way. Human adults do not necessarily behave this way.

Which leads me to wonder if perhaps fish are smarter than humans…

This is an odd thing to wonder since fish have pretty small brains compared to their body size (compared to other animals) which may have something to do with why they rely on the fish with the most smarticles.

Jellyfish aren’t fish. I don’t think very highly of jellyfish. But you knew that.

Fish in the middle of the school control the movement of the school. Think of them as the principal or the most popular teacher.

The term “fish” is used when referring to one species of fish (e.g., 10 salmon are 10 fish). The term “fishes” is used when referring to more than one species (e.g., 10 salmon, 3 trout, and 1 angel fish are 14 fishes). The term “fishies” is used when talking to a small child. The term “dinner” is used when referring to fish found in the supermarket.

Here’s to a day that’s not fishy.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Your canine cousin, Anakin, is having a Terrible Trouble. Anakin (as you know) is a puppy Auntie M and Uncle Sean are raising for the wonderful people at Guiding Eyes for the Blind. Poor Anakin is having his Terrible Trouble with The Other Puppy In The House. You know about the other puppy–the one who approaches when Anakin approaches, and who lifts his paw when Anakin lifts his, and lies down when Anakin lies down, but never comes closer than nose to nose and Just Won’t Play.

It’s all very sad and frustrating.

I have no words of wisdom for Auntie M because Booker never had this problem (what with his microscopic legs and all the mirrors on the first floor of our house being above Booker level). I’m not entirely sure what he thinks when he sees another dog being held in someone’s (my) arms. But since he’s also being cuddled, he’s never objected.

Often, when I have nothing pertinent to say, I’ll opt for cheerful irrelevance, which is what I’m doing today.

I have collected 6 Fun Animal Facts that will hopefully cheer you up even if they don’t cheer up Anakin.

1. A group of flamingos is called a flamboyance. So is a large shoe collection. Not naming names.
2. Worms communicate by snuggling. This is how mud-wrestling was originally invented.
3. Rats giggle when you tickle them. Their laugh is so high pitched you need special equipment to hear it. Like teenage girls.
4. Male puppies, when playing with female puppies, will intentionally let the female win. Male puppies are not stupid. Of course, what’s really happening is the female puppies are letting the male puppies think they’re letting the females win.
5. A group of porcupines is called a prickle. How perfect is that?
6. Baby puffins are called pufflings. Too cute.

Hope your mirror, mirror on the wall predicts a wonderful day.

Love, Mom