Dear Kid,

Thinking burns a lot of calories. For instance, how does the Fitbit tell the difference between sitting and watching bad reality TV (no effort) and sitting and contemplating bad reality TV (a great deal of effort)? Or gum chewing? How does the Fitbit account for the incredible number of calories I burn chomping on Trident? DearKidLoveMom.comFitbit: Get up.
Me: Shhh.
Fitbit: Get up.
Me: It’s Sunday.
Fitbit: That it is. Get up.
Me: You’re supposed to let me sleep on Sundays.
Fitbit: I did. Now it’s time to get up.
Me: I don’t remember setting an alarm for today.
Fitbit: Get up.


Fitbit: Get moving.
Me: It’s Sunday.
Fitbit: So you said. Get moving.
Me: And the Bengals are playing.
Fitbit: How nice.
Me: In London!
Fitbit: At least they’re moving.


Fitbit: Get moving!
Me: Drinking coffee. Doesn’t that count?
Fitbit: Nope.
Me: And I ate a banana. Doesn’t that count for something?
Fitbit: Sure. It counts for sharing a banana with the Puppy. Doesn’t count for exercise.
Me: I’m cheering for the Bengals. That has to count.
Fitbit: Did you walk to the stadium?
Me: To London?
Fitbit: Right. You walked from the kitchen to the couch. Doesn’t count for a whole lot.
Me: Sigh. I’ll get another cup of coffee.
Fitbit: You might want to go the long way.


Fitbit: Excuse me…
Me: I’m writing.
Fitbit: Yeah, I know.
Me: You’re interrupting.
Fitbit: Just want to be clear about something.
Me: OK. What?
Fitbit: You know that typing doesn’t count as exercise, right?
Me: Fingers are getting a lot of work.
Fitbit: Still doesn’t count.
Me: Bengals scored a touchdown!!!
Fitbit: It’s going to take a while to get you moving, isn’t it?
Me: Who Dey!!

Love, Mom