Dear Kid,

I have very sad news to report: Ethan the Betta Fish has moved on to the great ocean in the sky.Rubber ducky you're the one; you make bath time lots of fun; rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you!

Which is to say, he’s been flushed.

We believe it was a case of over-enthusiasm by the cleaning crew. Scrubicide? Either that, or the Professor with the candlestick.

Ethan was a good betta fish. He lived a short but happy life and he brought great joy to those of us he swam past.

For the time being, we have a small rubber ducky living (and by “living” I mean sitting) in Ethan’s tank.

No word on when Ethan the Second will arrive. I’ll keep you posted.

Love, Mom