Poison Ivy: The Poem

Dear Kid,

I have a case of poison ivy

That’s what’s making me so whiney

And by “whiney” I mean bitchy

‘Cause this stuff is so dang itchy.

I know the rhyme of “leaves of three”

But that assumes that you will see

The leaves to let them be.

And these dread leaves were hiding sly

Waiting to attack my thigh.

I knew that something wasn’t right

But thought, “It’s just a ‘skeeter bite.”

I thought the bugs had come to dine

I was wrong—it was the vine.

Or maybe it is poison oak?

Now there’s an itch that is no joke.

Who cares? Just get the calamine

So I can find relief sublime

And stop the itch for a short time

And ditch the poison ivy twitch.