Dear Kid,
Have you ever found yourself in the mood to argue?
Sometimes we don’t even notice that we’re in the mood to argue until we find ourselves defending something we don’t care about at all.
“I don’t care what you say, I’m not going to watch TV! I’m going to bed!”
Um. Okay?
“No, it’s NOT okay and you CAN’T MAKE ME!”
Riiiight.
It’s hard to say why we get into moods like that. Maybe we’re tired, maybe we’re hungry, maybe we’re frustrated with something and our frustration is leaking out in different areas, maybe the stars are in the wrong alignment.
When we argue about things because we’re in an arguing mood, we generally need a break to recover, figure out what’s really going on, take a deep breath, or sleep/eat/run/read/whatever to rebalance ourselves. Or just to wait for the stars to realign.
Sometimes we argue because we Need To Be Right.
That can important because in some cases there are things that are wrong (2+2=7). Other times, being “right” is a matter of interpretation or opinion (creamy peanut butter is right and chunky pb is just wrong). In those cases, it’s wise to think about how important “winning” is.
There’s a saying (that might be from the Marines according to My Friend the Internet): Choose the hill you’re willing to die on.
Meaning: Not everything is important enough to fight for. Or even to argue over.
Choose your fights. Live to fight (or possibly persuade) another day.
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