Dear Kid,

I’m feeling very mother bear-ish this morning. Not the “my porridge is too cold” (sounds disgusting to me) kind of mama bear. More the “mess with my kid and I will rip your head off your shoulders” kind. DearKidLoveMom.comI’m feeling very mother bear-ish this morning.

Not the “my porridge is too cold” (sounds disgusting to me) kind of mama bear.

More the “mess with my kid and I will rip your head off your shoulders” kind.

Not that there is (as far as I know) anything you or Pi (or the Puppy) need protecting from.

I did the only reasonable thing I could think of: I sent my friend Sue a text.

She (being a good friend) replied immediately: You have Empty Nest Syndrome.

She and I have the same medical degree—we’re equipped to dispense chicken soup, apply Band-Aids, and kiss boo-boos.

I checked with My Friend the Internet (MFtI).

Me: Tell me about Empty Nest Syndrome.
MFtI: You have it.
Me: Sue told you to say that.
MFtI: Well, yeah. But that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Me: I don’t have empty nest syndrome.
MFtI: You miss your kids.
Me: Of course. Proves nothing.
MFtI: You want more small furry animals.
Me: Still proves nothing.
MFtI: You’re eating a lot of chocolate.
Me: Am not.
MFtI: Yeah, I made that part up.
Me: You’re the internet. You’re not supposed to make stuff up.
MFtI: You’re kidding, right?

I texted Sue.

Actual text: The Internet agrees with you. I don’t.
Actual text reply: I don’t make the rules.

We need to fix that. I’m pretty sure a world run with her rules would be far more entertaining…

It’s a good thing you are coming home for turkey. I need a hug.

Love, Mom