Dear Kid,

Gold was a big deal back in ancient Greece. (Technically, gold has been a big deal everywhere at every time, but right now we’re talking ancient Greece.) Remember King Midas’ obsession and the subsequent exposé in Acropolis Weekly “Diet Tricks of the Rich and Famous”? This is another story about gold.

Once upon a time (you know how I love a good OUaT) there was a boy named Jason who had a king for a father and an evil man for an uncle (and you know how important an evil relative is to a good myth). To keep Jason safe, his mom sent him off to live with Chiron the Centaur where Jason had a fabulous childhood even if he didn’t have a lot of mom time.

Eventually, Jason was All Grown Up and decided to challenge his EU (Evil Uncle) who had taken over the throne. The uncle (King Pelias) liked being the chief number one royal and had no intention of handing over the crown, especially to a stranger.

Pelias invited Jason to dinner (don’t ask why he didn’t throw him out—you know the answer: that would change the story) and asked Jason for “advice.” “How,” asked uncle P, “would you get rid of someone who might cause you problems if they hung around your kingdom?”

“Interesting,” said Jason not realizing he was The Problem in question, “send said Problem to fetch the Golden Fleece.”

“Excellent idea,” said the king. “Off you go.”

There was a bit of ego-baiting, but that’s to be expected with kings and young heroes.

Jason gathered up a ship (the Argo), and a bunch of other young heroes (including Hercules and Atalanta), and launched himself an expedition.

A word about the ship, the Argo. Hera (who was mightily pissed off at Uncle Pelias because he snubbed her) decided to help Jason. So she asked Athena (you do remember Athena) to help and Athena gave the Argo a prow that could speak (and give prophesies).

There followed a bunch of adventures that I may get around to telling you about one of these days.

Eventually, the Argonauts (for that is what the sailors aboard the ship Argo were called) landed in Colchis which was where the Golden Fleece was.

But you know better than to think they could just walk up, grab the fleece, and head for home.

First there was the traditional Hating of the Good Looking Hero by the Local King (Aeetes—who spent far too much money buying vowels), followed by the Falling In Love with the Good Looking Hero by the Daughter of the Local King (Medea who was also a sorceress), and the Giving of the One Teensy Tiny Albeit Impossible Task.

And for that, my dear kiddo, you will have to tune in tomorrow.

Love, Mom