Dear Kid,

Having now been the Raw Materials Review Board, the Manufacturing Department, the Construction Crew, the Deconstruction Department, and the Serving Section for the Sweet 16 Sixteen Layer Cake, I feel qualified to describe the process.

Pay attention. You never know when there will be a pop quiz.

1. Discuss the layers. Decide that the plate is not an official layer, but frosting and fillings are.
2. Create the Master List of Layers.
3. Lose aforementioned list.
4. Recreate the Master List of Layers.
5. Find the original list and dither between the two.
6. Bake and freeze two brownie layers, two cake layers, and one cookie layer. Use only one pan. In your haste, don’t let the layers cool sufficiently before removing from the pan. Make a mess. Be glad there will be lots of frosting to disguise the less than perfect layers.
7. On the Day of the Party, unfreeze the layers.
8. Get your favorite BoyChild to core and slice half a zillion strawberries for the strawberry layers.
9. Enlist Grandma to help and lend moral support. Do not underestimate the importance of this step.
10. Get out your favorite cake plate (in this case the one the Wonderful Gloria gave me years and years ago).
11. Cut one of the cake layers in half. Wish you had thought to make all the layers really skinny.
12. Begin building layers as follows (read this list as though you are digging in from the top—like an archeologist reading layers of civilization):
    1. Frosting
    2. Marble cake
    3. Mini chocolate chips
    4. Jam
    5. Brownie
    6. Strawberries
    7. Frosting
    8. Cake
       1. We used a cardboard divider at this point for stability and to improve our chances of cutting the cake.
    9. Cake
    10. Strawberries
    11. Jam
    12. Brownie
    13. Heath chips
    14. Frosting
    15. Cookie
    16. Frosting (to help glue the cake to the cake plate)
13. After each baked layer is added drive toothpicks through the layer to the one below to improve your chances of making any misalignment permanent.
14. Once you have all the layers assembled, climb on a stepstool to frost the top of the cake.
15. Begin frosting the sides of the cake. Realize you don’t have enough of the white frosting to cover the entire cake. Growl at the frosting. Decide to use chocolate frosting on the back third of the cake.
16. Once you’ve gotten the entire monstrosity frosted, do an end-zone worthy happy dance. Regret that you haven’t taped it for YouTube. Realize the sugar has begun to affect your brain and be very glad you haven’t taped it for YouTube. Return to work.
17. Add decorative swirls near the bottom to cover up where you cheated because you were running out of frosting. Add decorative swirls to the top to be decorative.
18. Creatively write the name of the Birthday Pi in yet a different frosting to the top of the cake. Contemplate adding more strawberries. Decide that might be construed as another layer and nix the berries on top idea.
19. Add candles and declare the cake finished.
20. Stand back and appreciate the oohs and ahhs. Note that there is nothing that gushes more than an impressed 16 year old.
21. Feed people.
22. Realize there is going to be a LOT of leftover cake.
23. Wonder what the protocol is for serving cake at breakfast.

Thank you for all the help before and during the party. You were awesome.

Love, Mom