Dear Kid,

Pi was sitting on the floor peeling a grapefruit. The puppy was observing. Closely.

Me: I need a topic for tomorrow’s blog
Pi: The History of Grapefruit
Me: Is the history of grapefruit interesting?
Pi: Look it up. I’ll keep eating
I checked with My Friend the Internet.
Me: No, this is kind of boring. Except, get this. “The fruit is yellow-orange skinned and generally an oblate spheroid shape”
Pi: It’s what?
Me: Oblate spheroid
Pi: Hey Dad! What shape is a grapefruit?
Dad: Round
Pi: Nope. It’s…what is it again?
Me: Oblate spheroid.
Pi: So are you going to write about grapefruit?
Me: Nope. I can’t find a way to make it amusing in my head
Pi: I think this is very amusing. You should write about grapefruit
Me: I’ll consider it. Any other ideas?
Pi: What about the difference between cacao and cocoa?
Me: Huh?
Pi: There’s a difference. You should write about it.
We turn to MFTI. We find lots of information
Pi: So are you going to write about cacao and cocoa?
Me: Um, probably not.
Pi: I find this fascinating.
Me: I need an idea
Pi: What about a blog with a Message?
Me: Like what?
Pi: Like dog fights
Me: What?!
Pi: Because those are bad
Me: But I don’t have anything to say other than “they’re bad”
Pi: You can look it up. And tell people they’re bad. And then add a link
Me: A link?
Pi: So people can donate to help stop dog fights
I sigh
Pi: The grapefruit idea is looking pretty good right about now, isn’t it?
She turns so the puppy can lick her grapefruit covered fingers
Pi: You are so lucky to be in this house. You have a lucky bootie
Me: What does that mean?
Puppy: I have a lucky booty
Me: I still don’t really know what that means
Pi: That his boo-tay is lucky
Me: How is it lucky?
Pi: Because he lives in this house
Puppy: She’s talking a lot
Me: What did he just do?
Pi: He put his nose on my nose
Puppy: I’m trying to make this stop
Pi: He’s trying to make this stop! That is hilarious!!!
The puppy put his nose and eyes under his blanket. I know the feeling. DearKidLoveMom.comPuppy: What do I push to make it all stop?
Me: I think he wants to nap
Pi: He bonked my nose again. That is so funny!!!
Puppy: Nap time
Me: So much for a Great Blog Idea
Pi: You should probably write about grapefruit

The puppy put his nose and eyes under his blanket. I know the feeling.

Love, Mom