Dear Kid,

I am really proud of my subconscious.

Sometimes my dreams wander off in all sorts of seemingly random directions and all I can do is follow along wondering whose brain all this stuff belongs to.

But in my dream last night, I avoided a financial scam. I’m so proud of myself.

In my dream, I was at some kind of performance and sitting next to me was an older gentleman (let’s not get into the age thing, ok?) who was complimenting me on the beauty of my green eyes. They’re hazel but my subconscious accepted the compliments and didn’t quibble over color. My subconscious also didn’t quibble over the fact that said “gentleman” was talking during the performance (which my real self would never have tolerated).

Then the gentleman asked if I wanted to share some of the extraordinary potatoes served there (who serves potato skins during a performance?) and (here comes the extra scammery part) just to show we were just friends we could split the cost and if I would I just give him my credit card he—being a gentleman—would get it all taken care of.

My subconscious declined the invitation to split the cost but happily accepted some of the French fries. Who puts French fries on a plate of world-class potato skins?

There are all sorts of financial scams in the world today. Some of them are more subtle than others.

The moral of the story is

• If it seems scammy, it probably is
• If it seems too good to be true, it probably is
• If someone asks you to make an immediate financial decision, it’s likely to be a scam—you should always have time to think it over and get second opinions
• If someone tells you your eyes are worth watching more than a performance, it’s probably scammery
• Trust your gut—don’t ever let someone (except your mother) pressure you into a decision.

Love, Mom